Hawking jokes
Steven Hawking's Sesh Cave, entry 50p, guaranteed Budweiser and ecstasy. Maybe a gram of heroin. You'll most likely see a mental 90-year-old guy absolutely going mental on the dance floor with a Stella in one hand and another on his crotch.
What can you tell [is] the difference between Stephen Hawking and a carrot?
Nothing.
Where did Stephen Hawking go when he wanted to get drunk? The Genius Bar.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He lost WiFi connection.
Stephen Hawking forgot the WiFi password.
What's Stephen Hawking's worst nightmare?
Stairs.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? Because he's slightly ginger.
I made this one up myself just now.
Stephen Hawking would be a good pilot because the aircraft would be the first to take off and land in autopilot.
Why didn't Stephen Hawking ever eat chicken wings? Because he didn't exist.
What’s Steven Hawking's favorite crisps brand?
Walkers.
What’s one thing smarter than Stephen Hawking? His computer.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
His Windows update wasn't available.
It's okay to tell a Stephen Hawking joke if there are stairs in your house he can't get to you. Plus, he shut himself down, so it's all good :)
What happens when you throw water on Stephen Hawking?
He says, "Oh fuck fuck fuck!"
Stephen Hawking is as broke as his legs.
If Stephen Hawking is ill, does he go to the doctors or Currys PC World?
Stephen Hawking drove too far from the wall and unplugged.
He also forgot to pay the power bill.
If you replaced the boss in Portal with a boy, you would hear Stephen Hawking.
What happens when Stephen Hawking dies? Windows plays the shutdown music.
I wish Stephen Hawking could've just walked—oh wait, never mind.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He had a power cut.