Hawking jokes
Where did Stephen Hawking go when he wanted to get drunk? The Genius Bar.
Stephen Hawking never wrote a book... it was a Dragon who was naturally speaking.
What happened the night Stephen Hawking came home wasted?
Nothing... wife couldn’t tell.
Stephen Hawking tried joining some music bands, but all of them rejected him... except Daft Punk.
Stephen Hawking was an unfaithful man. He had an affair with Alexa.
Stephen Hawking's death was purely accidental. He clicked “shut-down” instead of “sleep”.
What did Stephen Hawking say on the stairway to heaven?
Oh, fuck! I can’t get up them.
I heard Microsoft got charged, why?
They couldn’t reboot Stephen Hawking.
Why does Stephen Hawking have the voice of an angel?
Because no one has ever heard an angel talk.
Now that Stephen Hawking is dead, the jokes will start to roll in just like he used to.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite type of basketball?
Dribble.
In about ten days, Stephen Hawking's wheelchair is going to have its first and last service.
Stephen Hawking missed assembly this morning.
Stephen Hawking isn't really dead, he's just rebooting.
If Stephen Hawking was so fucking smart, why hasn't he learned to walk yet?
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He had a computer virus!
Q. Why is Stephen Hawking so good at air guitar?
A. Because he has excellent string theory.
Heard Stephen Hawking is in a new movie and that the theme tune is absolutely banging. Think the opening line goes something like, “They see me rolling, they hating.”
So Stephen Hawking walked into a bar - just kidding.
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking in a house fire.