In about ten days, Stephen Hawking's wheelchair is going to have its first and last service.
Stephen Hawking missed assembly this morning.
Stephen Hawking isn't really dead, he's just rebooting.
If Stephen Hawking was so fucking smart, why hasn't he learned to walk yet?
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He had a computer virus!
Q. Why is Stephen Hawking so good at air guitar?
A. Because he has excellent string theory.
Heard Stephen Hawking is in a new movie and that the theme tune is absolutely banging. Think the opening line goes something like, “They see me rolling, they hating.”
So Stephen Hawking walked into a bar - just kidding.
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking in a house fire.
When Stephen Hawking was asked why he was instantly attracted to his new girlfriend, he said, "It's simple, she pushes all the right buttons."
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? Because he can't do stand-up.
What does Stephen Hawking have in common with a bull? They both charge.
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house? No, he hasn't either.
It’s sad because with all these mean jokes Stephen hawkings can’t even Stand up for himself
How does Stephen Hawking charge his computer?
How does Stephen Hawking have sex? Keyboard sex!
Stephen Hawking went on a date and came back with a broken leg. I can't believe she stood him up.
Why does Stephen Hawking always say he's got so many bitches?
Because he is never around Siri.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on Mars? Mars Rover.
What do you call Stephen Hawking's wife? Siri.
What happens when you say, "Hey Siri?"
Stephen Hawking answers.
