Hawking jokes
Why was Stephen Hawking a bad influence towards kids? Because he couldn’t stand for anything.
Why did Steven Hawking only tell one-liners?
Because he couldn't do standup.
I know why Stephen Hawking loves Transformers so much now.
Autobots, "Roll Out!"
Stephen Hawking was incredible at poker, he had no tell whatsoever.
The reason Stephen Hawking died was because he switched WiFi routers from Sky to Virgin, so his computer lagged out.
When Steven Hawking realizes heaven is only a stairway away.
Stephen Hawking went bankrupt after he found out somebody in his house was costing him way too much money on electricity bills.
He just couldn’t figure out who.
All these jokes are so offensive, Mr. Hawking just won’t stand for it.
What is Stephen Hawking's mum?
Your mum!
Stephen Hawking did not die; he deleted himself.
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie talkie? He can’t walkie or talkie.
Stephen Hawking walked in a bar...
Just kidding.
Does anyone know where I can get that picture that went around the internet of Steven Hawking looking at the stairway to Heaven and saying “Oh Fu-k”?
What’s Steven Hawking's favorite crisps brand?
Walkers.
How do you make Stephen Hawking mad?
You turn off the WiFi router.
There are days I feel really bad for my Wife. She has to feed me in the same place I take a dump.
She really hates it when I spit my food back out.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He drove too far away from the power point/modem.
Why couldn't Stephen Hawking pass? Because he couldn't pass "I'm not a robot" test.
Why does Stephen Hawking only do one-liners?
Because he can’t do stand up.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
It's me. I can't get in because Stephen Hawking is blocking the door!