Hawking jokes
What shoe size is Stephen Hawking?
It doesn't matter—he can't walk anyway.
Why are batteries quicker than Stephen Hawking?
Because they can run out.
Why did Stephen Hawking go to his fridge but get nothing out?
It was a dummy run.
Why didn't Stephen Hawking go to heaven?
Because there was only a stairway to heaven and no lifts.
If half of Stephen Hawking's house was painted red and half was painted blue, what color were the stairs?
He didn't have any.
Stephen Hawking can't walk the walk or talk the talk.
Stephen Hawking walked into a bar.
Oh, is that how he ended up in a wheelchair?
Why can't Stephen Hawking be a police officer?
Because he can't use a walkie-talkie.
What is Stephen Hawking's favourite car?
Rolls Royce.
What is Stephen Hawking's favourite music?
Rock and roll.
The Hodja purchased a piece of meat at the market, and on his way home he met a friend.
Seeing the Hodja's purchase, the friend told him an excellent recipe for stew.
"I'll forget it for sure," said the Hodja. "Write it on a piece of paper for me."
The friend obliged him, and the Hodja continued on his way, the piece of meat in one hand and the recipe in the other. He had not walked far when suddenly a large hawk swooped down from the sky, snatched the meat, and flew away with it.
"It will do you no good!" shouted the Hodja after the disappearing hawk. "I still have the recipe!"
Why can't Stephen Hawking win any arguments?
Because he can't stand up for himself.
I bet Steven Hawking $100 if he could catch me.
As soon as he said yes, I climbed up the stairs.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his wife changed the WiFi password, because he was having an affair with his shoulder.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite hobby?
Rolling on ice.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite type of music?
Rock and Roll.
What's black and sits on top of a staircase?
Stephen Hawking's after a house fire.
POV them: What's one move to get a man motivated in bed?
Her: All you gotta give is that hawk tuah and spit on that thang, you get me?
Did you know there are black holes billions of years old?
What’s more amazing is the black holes Stephen Hawking studied. We're only 14 years old.
What’s better than Stephen Hawking?
Stephen walking.