Hawking jokes
A boxer talks with his fists.
Stephen Hawking talks with his wheelchair.
Why is Stephen Hawking not scared of anyone?
His wheelchair always backs him up.
A woman asked Stephen Hawking to dance, and he replied, "I'm not much good, I have two left feet."
"Then how about Karaoke?"
To which he replied, "I have two left throats."
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite movie? Cabbage Patch Kids.
What does it say on Stephen Hawking's headstone?
R. I. P. Roll in Peace.
No, Stephen Hawking wasn't the first man to walk on the moon.
What Stephen Hawking doesn't know about wheelchairs isn't worth knowing.
They say Jesus walked on water.
That's nothing. Stephen Hawking ran on batteries.
How do you execute Stephen Hawking?
The electric wheelchair.
Stephen Hawking had a high I.Q., but still had to learn how to be disabled.
Who said, "That's a small step for man, a giant leap for mankind?"
Not Stephen Hawking.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite football anthem?
You'll Never Walk Alone.
What did Stephen Hawking say when he rode a bike?
"Hey look...no hands...or legs!"
Stephen Hawking doesn't go for a stroll. He goes for a roll.
I'll tell you a good joke. Stephen Hawking went for a walk.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and his wheelchair?
At least his wheelchair can pull a woman.
Wipe your feet before entering, but in Stephen Hawking's case, it is "Wipe your wheels."
If you look up the word "wheelchair" in a dictionary, you will see a picture of Stephen Hawking.
Why is he called Stephen Hawking?
Because he is always trying to hawk up phlegm to clear his throat.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Steven.
Can't you read? It says, "No Hawking."