Have jokes
Why can’t organs have a family bag of chips?
Because they have no family to share it with.
Why did the sun go to college?
Because it already have a million degrees!
The police told everyone to put their hands up, and the police were having fun waving their hands around.
Why can’t orphans have sex, my friends? Why? They have none to call daddy.
Why can't orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
OFF
Santa Claus gave a child a bike and a football. The child wasn’t happy. Why?
He had no legs.
Have you ever heard of the stupid coyote? He got stuck in a trap, chewed off three of his legs, and was still stuck!
You heard a conversation between Sans and Papyrus:
Sans: "Sub bro."
Papyrus: "DON'T 'SUB' ME BROTHER! YOU STILL DIDN'T REDINTEGRATE YOUR PUZZLES!"
Sans: "Easy bro, I have done a ton of work today."
Sans: "A skele-ton."
(Drum effect)
Papyrus: "OH MY GOD SANS!"
Q: What does a microwave and an M1 Garand have in common?
A: They both go “ping” when they’re done.
Friends are very important. I have lots of friends in very high places. I hope the police can talk them down!
Did you know all Canadians have the same blood type?
They all have blood "eh."
Hey, did you hear about the cat revolution? It was a cat-astrophy! I guess we just have to stay PAWSitive!
Have you ever heard Stephen Hawking sing?
"Head, shoulders, wheels and frames, wheels and frames!"
Have you ever walked through Stephen Hawking's house? No?
Well..... neither has he.
Have you heard of bees? They're bee-utiful!
Have you heard about the awesome fruit race?
The lettuce was ahead, but the tomato was able to ketchup!
I did have a good night's sleep and a good day today, and tomorrow I have [planned] for a good night's sleep, and sleep with my...
A bear walks into a bar and asks the barkeep, "Can I have a grilled . . . cheese?"
The barkeep asks the bear, "What's with the big pause?" The bear says, "Well, I'm a bear."
How do you make a blond snowman? You can't, you have to hollow out the head.
Why do orphans have 363 days on the calendar? Because they don't have Mother's or Father's Day!