Have jokes
Technically, we have all been deeper in our mom than our dads have.
What does grass and Rachel Sutherland’s wrists have in common: nothing, they both get cut.
Why does a woodpecker have a beak?
So as to not smash his head against the tree.
My sister said you smell, but then she saw her panties having moles on it.
When my mom said you have to listen to classical music at my new school, I had to listen to it twenty-four seven. After that, I sang the song [with] the wrong melody for my music teacher 😎
You will never have a girlfriend.
I have some words that might make sense to girls, but maybe not to boys, ready?
smart
kind
sweet
caring
loving
mature
My girlfriend broke up with me this morning, and we just started dating yesterday.
Now she's having a breakfast.
Whoever took my dildo,
I hope you're having a good time.
A teacher asked his students a math question.
"You have one dollar. Your parents give you five dollars. How much money do you have?"
After some thinking, about half the class raised their hands. The teacher called on a little girl in the front.
"One dollar!" she said.
Me: Shut up! If you don't shut up, I'm gonna tell your parents!
You: Why? I don't have any.
What do my clothes and a depressed person not have in common?
My clothes don't hang themselves...
What kind of bull doesn’t have horns?
A bullfrog!
Q: What season can an orphan see their family tree?
A: Fall.
If you don't get it, in the fall trees have no leaves, there [are] just empty branches, like an orphan's tree.
Why can't orphans sign up for sports?
They have to have a parent's signature.
What did one cheese say to the other cheese?
"Hello, it's a nice day, do you have any plans on what you're going to do?"... The other cheese was taken back by his politeness and friendliness, they agreed to meet again, and were soon married and lived happily ever after. Let this tale of the two cheeses inspire you to be a better person.
Why is an orphan really good at being naughty?
Because they have no one to tell them off.
Why is an orphan good at being naughty?
Because they don't have no one to tell them off.
I posted on my Facebook account that you have a picture on Facebook.
Kid says, “Are you a soldier?”
Soldier says, “Mhm.”
Kid says, “I wanna be a soldier someday.”
Soldier says, “Really?”
The kid says, “Yeah, but father says I don’t have the balls to be a soldier, but he’s right. I’m a FUCKING PRETTY PRETTY PRINCESS!!!"