Have jokes

Bonfire

2 views ·

Parents: Let's have a bonfire.

Me: Let's go to the orphanage.

Parents: To bring other children?

Me: No, to have the fire.

Parents: Won't they be missed?

Me: No, because there is nobody to miss them.

Sister

8 views ·

Gina: Maryen? Karlya? Amber? Kristie? Why isn't it listed that she's here?

Zari: Your sister isn't listed in the meantime, just relax.

Gina: That still doesn't answer why she's not listed. I want her to see me!

Zari: Anyway, it will be time for your medications, we have the gixen and the Uiasends.

Gina: Do you know my sister's name?

Zari: Yes. Her name is Jalien.

Gina: Fine, I don't care!!!

Fetus

6 views ·

What do a pregnant 14-year-old and the fetus inside of her have in common?

They both are thinking, "Shit! Mom is gonna kill me!"

Pea

77 views ·

What’s the similarity between peas from Tesco and emos?

They both have barcodes.

Class

2 views ·

Does anyone go to Eagle High School? Tell me what classes you have from 1st period to 4th period if you go to Eagle High School.

Shooter

3 views ·

Why do school shooters have the best shots?

They train at the best schools. 🤣🤣🧇🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂😂

Prince

3 views ·

Gwen: Prince, they told me you'd be crying back. What do you want?

Prince: Nothing...BUT CAN WE GET BACK TOGETHER!?!??

Gwen: Sorry...BUT...I have a life to live now. I'm logging off this site and going to watch some TV. I'll be back in 1 hour, but we are done...DONE...DONE.

Puzzle

19 views ·

I have a thousand-piece puzzle of the Japanese map. It took me ages to finish it.

But after the earthquake, I just threw all the pieces on the ground, and it's done.

Bullshit

32 views ·

Kariana: Dad and mom, what is this bullshit?

Treon: How did you find that?!

Kariana: It was under the cabinet where you told me to put the streamers. I found these under the cabinet, did she have another sister you didn't tell me about? Now tell the truth, or else!

Petina: Now what have we told you about going into things that are not yours!

Kariana: I just told you to say the fricking truth, now who is Faineni? Where is she? Who is she? What is her date of birth? Why do I have her bra under here and why....IS IT UNDER THE FRICKING CABINET!!!!! ANSWER ME!!!!!!!!!

Treon: We can't!

Kariana: BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!

Son

1 view ·

David’s parents have three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what’s the name of the third son?

Answer: David.

Vegetable

286 views ·

What do a shopping cart and a wheelchair have in common? They both carry vegetables.

  • 6
  • Bunny

    8 views ·

    Why can't you make fun of a bunny's head?

    Because they have a hare-line.

    Sheep

    1 view ·

    Llama: Hey sheep, let's play cards.

    Sheep: Llama, fuck off!!

    Llama: What's your damn problem?

    Sheep: Nothing, I'm just having a Baahd day, okay dick head?