Have jokes
Why can't orphans have babies?
Because they have no one to call daddy.
Q: Why can't orphans be gay?
A: Because they don't have anyone they can call "Daddy."
A boy and his friend were walking down the street.
Boy 1: "Bro, you still got my Nikes?"
Boy 2: "Yeah, sorry. I got them dirty."
Boy 1: "Please clean them, we have school tomorrow."
Boy 2 got back to his house and decided to clean his friend's shoes. After he finished drying them, he got stuck in his painfully small dryer. Then he remembered his brother needed something from the dryer. So he tried to get out, when his brother came in.
He came in twice.
(like if u understand)
Why are the towers working out? They have big thighs!
Little Sally found out that she had hair on her private area and went up to her mom and asked, "Mom, I have hair on my privates, what is it?"
"Oh honey, that's your monkey," the mom says.
So little Sally runs up to her big sister and says, "My monkey has hair on it!" So the sister replies with a laugh, "You think that's cool? My monkey is already eating bananas!"
Not totally a joke but... What do all these rape joke naysayers have in common with rapists? They are also forcing themselves on others.
Why can’t orphans have dad jokes? Because they don’t got one.
Three sons left home, went out into the world, and each of them made a lot of money. During a reunion, they discussed the gifts they'd given to their elderly mum.
"I built a big house for our mum," said the first.
"I sent her a Mercedes, with a chauffeur," said the second.
And the third smiled and said, "I think my gift was the best. You know how much mum enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know that her eyes aren't so good anymore? Well, I sent her a remarkable cockatoo that recites the entire Bible, both old and new testaments. It took a priest twelve years to teach him. That cockatoo is the only one in the world that can do it. All mum has to do is name the chapter and verse, and the cockatoo recites it."
A few days later, mum sent out her thankyou letters. She wrote to the first son,
"The house you built is so enormous that I only live in one room. The trouble is, I have to clean the whole house."
To the second son she said, "I'm far too old to travel anymore. I stay at home most of the time, so I've hardly used the Mercedes. In any case, the driver is so rude."
To the third son she wrote "Dearest Freddie. You have the good sense to know what your mum likes. The chicken was delicious!"
What does an emo kid and pizza have in common?...... The pizza doesn’t cut itself.
Why did an orphan have s**? To have someone to call daddy.
I wanted to play Fruit Ninja, but remembered I don’t have a phone. Guess I gotta draw fruit on my arm!
Don't y'all just hate when something funny to you happens and then you just have to be quiet so you don't look like a villain?
What does an iPhone have that orphans do not?
Home buttons.
Bob: Can I come to your house to meet your family?
Orphan: I don't have a family.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They have no home to run to.
Have you ever heard of a dream that that that that the universe was a fake machine?
Why can't orphans play paintball?
Because they don't have parent supervision.
If your parachute doesn't work, don't worry.
You have the rest of your life to figure it out.
Kidnapper: Hey kid, your mom told me to follow me.
Orphan: But I don't have a mom!
"Oh, waiter! Waiter!"
"Yes, sir?"
"Do you have frog's legs?"
"Why, yes."
"Good. Now hop along and get me a steak!"