Have jokes
Why can't orphans go to school?
They don't have a home to go to.
What's the difference between an American and a computer?
Americans don't have trouble shooting!
What do an ice cream cone and a Ukrainian orphanage have in common?
Children scream when they melt.
Wilt Chamberlain may have spread his seed among many women, but Kobe spread his brain matter all over California.
Me to an orphan: If you had a penny for everyone who loved you, I don't think you'd have any.
The orphan: But why?
Me: Because if someone loved you, they wouldn't have thrown you out.
Have you heard of the new sequel to "The Exorcist"?
A woman hires the devil to get a priest out of her son.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they don't have anyone to call "Daddy."
Do you know what dogs and orphans don't have in common?
Dogs get loved.
Little Johnny said he wanted a coffee, so his mom said he can have one.
He got an espresso, not knowing "depresso" came with it.
Little Johnny went up to his mom and said: "Can I have some milk?"
He waited for three hours to get an answer.
His mom finally said: "No, your dad still isn't back with it."
What do the twin towers and genders have in common? They used to be two, but now they're a sensitive subject.
Why doesn't the orphan's phone have a homepage, being it doesn't have a home?
If you have anger problems, hit an orphan, because who are they going to tell? Not their parents.
So, a husband and a wife have three kids. The husband is on his death bed, and he looks up at his wife and says, "Honey, is our youngest son truly and honestly mine?" She says in response, "I swear on everything that is good and holy, our youngest son is yours." He dies peacefully.
Then she says under her breath, "I'm glad he didn't ask about the first two."
My parents used to make me and my siblings apologize to the ground when we stomped.
If I had done "it," I would have gotten SO many apologies.
Johnny, Johnny?
Yes, Papa.
Eating sugar?
Yes, Papa, I am eating sugar because it is the only thing I can reach, and you have refused to feed me for the past 3 days. You smoke 2 packs of cigs a day and you’re mad at me for eating a little sugar.
Smoking? Telling lies?
Yes, Papa, you do all of those things because you’re a chronic addict.
Dear doctor,
I've heard it's a good sign when women scream your first name during sex, but recently women have been screaming my full name. It's weird, I feel like I'm famous. Can you tell me what this means?
Yours Truly, Ray Palp
Why do orphans love Oreos?
Because when they have a family pack, they can eat it all!
What do a brand new house, me, and new jewelry box have in common?
We're all empty on the inside.
I was having issues in my personal and professional life. I hated everyone. I was on the brink of a mental breakdown and depression. I decided to see a therapist about it. The therapist suggested that I should write letters to the people I hate and then burn them. I must admit I feel much better...
But now I don't know what to do with the letters.