In my mother's generation, they grew up with Wonder Woman. In ours, we have to wonder if she's a woman.
So I ran into a woman the other day who says her vaginas is like a lottery ticket. She said it's because you have to be lucky to hit it... I thought it's because she was always scratching it.
Knock knock... Who's there? It's Jesus, let me in... Why? I have to save you.. From what? From what I'm gonna do to you if you don't let me in.
Mum: if your friend jumped of a cliff would you Me: oh yeah no doubt my friend wouldn't even have to jump first
What's the difference between a paycheck and your penis? You don't have to beg your wife to blow up the paycheck.
I was in Alabama last year. I walked into a store and noticed a couple kissing eachother and I said excuse where is the bathroom and the man said right over there. I went into the bathroom and then heard the girl say "Dad I have to go to school soon"
A kid is watching tv and sees an ad about adopting an animal,he then turns to his mother and says “do we have to adopt a donkey” “no” replied the mom, “but we decided to do it......we adopted you”.
So I didn't want my mom going through my laptop so I put a touch screen on it where you just have to tap the screen to unlock it jokes on her she doesn't have any fingers.
If you're going to be a smart ass, you have to be smart, or you're just an ass.
Why do I have to go to a shooting range when I can go to school and do it for free
God said, "Let there be light." Chuck Norris said, "You have to say please first."
This is NOT my joke i found it on google its a texting joke Mom:Son youre grandma just passed away LOL Son:mom what do you mean LOL that means laughing out loud Mom:oh no i thought that meant lots of love i have to text everyone back!!!!
So skinny you have to run around in the shower to get wet
We can't go under it... We can't go over it...
We have to go through it!
The only thing flat earthers have to fear...
... is sphere itself.
My friends were worried that I was making suicide jokes so much, so I said "Don't worry, you won't have to hear them much longer."
Me and my stepmom went into the forest.I think I hid the body pretty well but now I have to hide the gun.
After watching Star Wars 8, I have to say Snoke was half the man I expected him to be.
I would make a rape joke, but I'd have to force it down your throat.
Women are like IPhones, you have to touch them all over before they respond. Men are like Blackberrys, rub one ball and everything moves!
