Have To jokes

What's it like to have the best daughter in the world? You'll have to ask grandma!

Why did the orphan have to stay at school?

Because they need to leave with a parent.

How is toilet paper recycled?

Easier than you would think, but first they have to process the crap out of it.

Kids, next time you have school dinners, make sure you have something you actually like so you don't have to shove all your food over to one side of the plate to make it look like you've eaten more than you actually have.

Roses are red, violets are blue. I see you, I see you; you would have to work out.

I intern at an orphanage that burned down this weekend with 30 kids inside.

Thankfully, I don’t have to call and tell their parents.

Why'd the emo have no friends?

"Because they like to hang by themself."

Why don't Jedis make puns that often?

They usually have to force them. (I hate myself for that!)

Why can't orphans play baseball? Cause they have to hit a home run.

My friend asked which is better to have, and you have to choose: autism or Down syndrome?

I was talking to a Muslim yesterday, and he asked me what it's like to be blind.

I happened to tell him about 20 jokes; in fact, I was working on my twentieth. So I answered with, "At least I don't have to screw in light bulbs. It's not like I need the damn things anyway."

So, on one partly cloudy night, there was a boy and his dad gazing up at the sky.

Dad: Aren't the stars just wonderful?

Boy: I'm not sure, from my angle, all I see are clouds.

Dad: Well, come over here and take a look.

Boy: Damn, the clouds always move when I get to the right spot!

Dad: Well then, I guess I will have to make you see them everywhere you look then.

Then the Dad shook and spun the boy around till he said...

NOW I'M SEEING STARS!!!

The Mexican landscaper came to cut our lawn. My mom was happy then asked him, "Can I have some of your burrito?" He said, "Yeah." I said, "Whatever."

A few minutes later, my mom told me to cut the lawn. I said, "Why do I have to do it? That's what he's there for." My mom said, "He's going to do the burrito for me." Then I said, "Okay." I finished cutting the lawn and went in the house. I see my mom giving the landscaper a blow job. I said to my mom, "What are you doing?" My mom said, "What does it look like? I'm having my burrito." The landscaper told me that I missed a spot while cutting the lawn.

I hope you have to dip your Oreos in water because your dad never came back with the milk.

Me: God, Bryce, do we really have to talk about this again?

Bryce: What?

Me: You're still talking shit!! I already told you! It's 9 inches! Stop saying it's 3!

P.S. I'm a girl.

I have to call Bovfa. What's Bovfa? Bovfa deez nuts fit in your mouth.

I have a great job for you, but you have to start it off...

Knock, knock...

Who's there?

I don't know?!?

Store owner: You have to be 40 inches tall to go into the adult section.

Kid: Please.

Store owner: Oh okay, but get on your tippy toes.

Kid: Everybody is hugging.

What do you think of your mom? I have to go now and tyyyytt.

"Prince???? Where are you??? I might have to go to bed for real, but I just wish we could talk at night. Why don't we anyway? (I love you so much!)"