A man was taking a child into a dark forest.
The child said, "I'm scared!"
The man replied, "Well I have to walk home alone."
The double slit experiment shows light particles are a wave that assemble in your presence. And you didn't even have to say a word!
How do lesbians have sex? It’s too complicated. I’d have to show you.
I wanted to tell a commie a joke about food, but he’d have to wait 10 years to get it.
What did one skeleton say to the other?
Skeleton 1: "I need a hand!"
Skeleton 2: (Throws up hand)
Skeleton 1: "That wasn't very humerus."
Skeleton 2: "Why do you have to be so heartless?"
Skeleton 1: "At least I had the guts to tell you!"
I was always told as a kid that I have to pick between being a programmer and an English teacher.
They said: you can't be a "pro-grammer nazi."
why did the orphan have to eat his cereal with water?
Because his dad never came back with the milk
I would say something funny, but I would have to dig someone up.
Hey, I got some Domino's pizza, salad, breadsticks, and chicken wings for everyone. Yeah, but make sure Ms. Mandingo gorilla don't eat all up, because if she do, I'm going have to shove it up her fur.
Roses are blood red, violets are twilight-hued oh how I wish I was dead so that I no longer have to brood.
Death would be a reprieve as I would no longer have to be true, and I would no longer have to be around any of you.
It hasn't been the same since Kobe died. I can't say "Kobe" anymore when going to shoot a shot. Now I have to say, "Kobe crash!"
A kid goes into a restaurant without parents, and a waitress came up and said, "You have to leave; this is a family restaurant."
Why do pedos hate corona? Because they have to stay two meters away from children. 😈
When you have to get your prostate checked and you can feel the cold rubber of the glove, but you realize both the doctor's hands are on your shoulders.
My nan broke her toe on a brick today. Last time she broke her toe because she kicked her car tire. Does that now mean I have to tow her back to the doctors?
you have to tell this to a friend- There are 30 cows in a field 20 ate(28) chickens how many didn't? A: 10
I wish my lawn was emo so I would not have to cut it would cut itself
When you're working in the twin towers but you have to turn your computer to airplane mode.
Do chiropractors have to pay back taxes?
Only when they file jointly.
You're walking one day and a little kid, about 5-6 years old, comes up to you asking, "What's a condom?" You have to give that child the wrong answer, what would you tell them? Comment on what you would tell them.
