Have To

Have To jokes

Hide-and-seek

Figure: Who wants to play hide and seek?

Seek and Hide: Me.

Figure: Okay, hide and I will hide and Seek will be it.

Seek: Why do I have to be it?

Figure: Because your name says so.

Girl

Girls are like bacteria. The toxic ones are everywhere, and you have to take special care of the good ones.

People

What happens when there's ten people in one house and they all have to shit and there's one bathroom?

It's a motherfucking shitshow party!

Baseball

Lady: "Can I lick your balls?"

Me: "Ummmmm, ok?"

Lady: *grabs ball sack and licks my balls*

Me: "I'm gonna have to clean these now!"

Lady: "Let me do that."

Me: "No, thank you! I have to use these baseballs for practice!"

Grass

Just buy emo grass, then you will never have to mow your lawn again.

Name

You go h dichotomy lol what do you want to what what’s the name for the address for sure what’s what I name it says I name it lol I don’t o I have to get r CB n nu set set e Okay okay I’ll be at my place.

Orphan

The orphan turned 18, but he was happy because he didn't have to pay rent to his parents.

Condom

You're walking one day and a little kid, about 5-6 years old, comes up to you asking, "What's a condom?" You have to give that child the wrong answer, what would you tell them? Comment on what you would tell them.

Doctor

A doctor walks into his office and looks his patient in the eyes, "Sir, you have to stop jerking off."

The man asks, "Why?"

The doctor then says, "Because I'm trying to examine you."

Daddy

If I fuck you harder, you have to scream "daddy," but what happens when you cum?

Cow

You have to tell this to a friend:

There are 30 cows in a field. 20 ate 28 chickens. How many didn't? A: 10

Halloween

I have to say that Halloween is my favorite day...

Every time they see me, kids and mothers run away...

I don’t have a costume so please don’t reprimand...

When I open up the door, I’ve got my penis in my hand.

Husband

A wife and husband go to a barn. The husband picks up a goat and says, “Look at this pig I have to sleep with every night.”

The wife says, “Honey, that’s a goat.”

The husband replies with, “I was talking to the goat.”

Orphan

Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away.

Orphan: But why?

Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.

Marriage

What made Adam and Eve's marriage perfect?

He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about his Mom's cooking.

President

They say you should love your neighbor. Does that mean I have to love the president?

Complaint

I have to file a complaint against Spotify because I didn’t see you on my hot singles last week.