Hang jokes

My friend told me to make more friends, so I joined a suicide cult.

I’ll be hanging with them for a while.

What's the difference between an apple and emos?

They both hang on trees.

If I don't find a reason to live soon, my ceiling fan isn't the only thing that's gonna be hanging from my ceiling.

Police Report: Looking for a female, light brown hair, blue eyes, freckles, and a small scar on her right check.

Last seen on CCTV wearing see-through bottoms, a pink top, and a vibrating dildo hanging out of her arse. If you find this woman, please get her to charge the dildo for excessive fun.

The warden gave them a choice of three ways to die: to be shot, to be hung, or to be injected with the AIDS virus for a slow death.

So the German said, "Shoot me right in the head." Boom, he was dead instantly.

Then the Italian said, "Just hang me." Snap, he was dead.

Then the Irishman said, "Give me some of that AIDS stuff." They gave him the shot, and the Irishman fell down laughing. The guards looked at each other and wondered what was wrong with this guy.

Then the Irishman said, "Give me another one of those shots," so the guards did. Now he was laughing so hard, tears rolled from his eyes and he doubled over.

Finally, the warden said, "What is wrong with you?"

The Irishman replied, "You guys are so stupid... I'm wearing a condom!"

Q: What happens when emos make out?

A: They don't; they just hang out.

When I die I want to have a piece of paper near me giving a clue on how I died, like, "I want everyone to miss me except for this bullet," or, "You didn't hang with me but guess what did?"

A suicidal boy went up to a tree and said "hi".

The tree never responded; it left him hanging.

What does an apple and a gay person have in common?

Both fruits hang in trees out in the Middle East.

I kinda feel sorry for Hitler.

Looking back at some old photos of him, his friends always left him hanging when he went for a high-five.

WAIT! I remember how the joke goes! These two cannibals are hanging out eating lunch, which is a clown, you see, 'cause they're cannibals and one cannibal says to the other cannibal, "Does this taste funny to you?"

What's the best time to hang out with an Indian? When your nose is clogged.

What’s the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him?

It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.

What's the difference between a black person and an apple?

An apple chooses to hang.

What's the difference between an apple and a black man?

Apples look better hanging on a tree.

What do emo kids like to do in their spare time?

Hanging out.

I wonder if any of these people are still alive.

Anyways,

When I arrived at the pearly gates when I died, the guardian asked me how I died. I told him I was just hanging around.

Why are emos jealous of light?

The lights are hanging.

Why can’t the emo play in trees? They’ll leave ‘em hanging.

Q: What did the kid say to the emo kid?

A: Don't leave me hanging!