Hang jokes

What's the difference between an apple and emos?

They both hang on trees.

Police Report: Looking for a female, light brown hair, blue eyes, freckles, and a small scar on her right check.

Last seen on CCTV wearing see-through bottoms, a pink top, and a vibrating dildo hanging out of her arse. If you find this woman, please get her to charge the dildo for excessive fun.

The warden gave them a choice of three ways to die: to be shot, to be hung, or to be injected with the AIDS virus for a slow death.

So the German said, "Shoot me right in the head." Boom, he was dead instantly.

Then the Italian said, "Just hang me." Snap, he was dead.

Then the Irishman said, "Give me some of that AIDS stuff." They gave him the shot, and the Irishman fell down laughing. The guards looked at each other and wondered what was wrong with this guy.

Then the Irishman said, "Give me another one of those shots," so the guards did. Now he was laughing so hard, tears rolled from his eyes and he doubled over.

Finally, the warden said, "What is wrong with you?"

The Irishman replied, "You guys are so stupid... I'm wearing a condom!"

Q: What happens when emos make out?

A: They don't; they just hang out.

When I die I want to have a piece of paper near me giving a clue on how I died, like, "I want everyone to miss me except for this bullet," or, "You didn't hang with me but guess what did?"

A suicidal boy went up to a tree and said "hi".

The tree never responded; it left him hanging.

What does an apple and a gay person have in common?

Both fruits hang in trees out in the Middle East.

I kinda feel sorry for Hitler.

Looking back at some old photos of him, his friends always left him hanging when he went for a high-five.

What do emo kids like to do in their spare time?

Hanging out.

What's the difference between a black person and an apple?

An apple chooses to hang.

What's the difference between an apple and a black man?

Apples look better hanging on a tree.

WAIT! I remember how the joke goes! These two cannibals are hanging out eating lunch, which is a clown, you see, 'cause they're cannibals and one cannibal says to the other cannibal, "Does this taste funny to you?"

What's the best time to hang out with an Indian? When your nose is clogged.

What’s the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him?

It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.

If you go to someone's house and see the flag of the former Soviet Union hanging on the wall,

that's a big red flag!

Don't leave us hanging, Sayori.

I keep trying to call my emo friend. They keep hanging up.

What do I and a brand new chandelier have in common?

One of these days, we’re both gonna be hanging from the ceiling.

A brother and sister were hanging out, and the brother was sad, so the sister asked why. The brother replies with, "I think I need to break up with you!"

Hang in there, you all, Literally.