Halloween jokes
Why can’t mental hospitals have Halloween?
Because the patients thought the pumpkins were them. I tried.
I was in a haunted house today. Nothing scared me until I reached the last room, where I saw the scariest Halloween ghost I've ever seen. He took my pens and ghosted. I was told that I saw Pristiano Penaldo and I was lucky enough to see him because he performs once in a blue moon.
What do you call a lamp that molests young boys? A Jacko Lantern!
What goes cackle, cackle, *bonk*?
A witch laughing its head off.
Halloween joke:
What do you get when you cross a vampire with a teacher?
A blood test.
What do orphans be on Halloween?
They be themselves.
Me: *stabs vampire*
Wife: omg
Me: *beats vampire to death*
Wife: OMG
Me: What?
Wife: You're supposed to give them candy!
Me: Well, that's a sticky situation now, isn't it, Barbara?
Why did the orphan get arrested for identity theft?
He dressed up as Batman for Halloween.
I am going to be a ghost for Halloween. I actually want to be a ghost every day, because at least I'd be dead.
I barged into a Halloween party at my school with my air-soft AR-15!
I was so scary, EVERYONE ran away!
It’s almost take her to Spirit Halloween, and then rail her in a spooky mask season.
What is a pedophile’s favorite part about Halloween?
Free delivery.
What do Emos say when they trick-or-treat?
"Boo-hoo!"
Yo mama is so ugly, when she went trick or treating on Halloween 2016, the clowns thought she was their supreme leader.
What does an emo do on Halloween? They hang like a decoration.
Why do emo kids love dressing up on Halloween so much?
It's their last holiday for them, but at least they're still hanging on...
How long was the owl trick or treating?
Owl night long!
What do a jack-o-lantern and an emo have in common?
They can both carve a new emotion.
I know what I want to be for Halloween! A pumpkin! I'm very good at carving into myself, after all.
A father of five puts on a gas mask and a hazard suit and walks outside, but before he could make it, his son came and asked, "Dad, what are you wearing?"
The father answered with, "A costume for Halloween."
The child asked, "Can I join?" He said no, for he said it's their last Halloween. After that, I saw green smoke all over the same house they lived in.