HA jokes
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?
Because it has a silent “p.”
The woman became extremely uncomfortable with the man she had just met. While he lay beside her, romantically kissing and stroking her neck he whispered, “I called the number you gave me at the bar tonight. Someone named Alvin answered who has never heard of you.”
My grandma has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
"What do you give a man that has everything? Penicillin."
As a brother, I have to report my sister has a few new symptoms that are going around, and those symptoms are that she has big titties, a sweet pussy, and a great personality.
Memes
My mom has a toy that I see all the girls and guys seem to play with, and the toy is between my mom's legs.
What has 4 limbs and can make a sidewalk red? Me falling from a 20 story building.
Every zodiac sign has a hairstyle, except Cancer.
What's the opposite of an exorcism?
When Satan has to tell the priest to come out of the child...
I've asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far, no one has given me a straight answer.
Chuck Norris has gone to Mars. That's why there is no life on it.
What’s the difference between a mountain and your girl?
At least the mountain has two hills.
If I had a dollar for every brain cell LEO has, I’d have one dollar.
Attention! Has anyone noticed that Watersharky and Kitten are dating? It's strange because they haven't said anything for 28 DAYS!!! They been keeping it a secret...(I guess). Someone needs to keep track of this. GOD, I just thought further into life with their relationship. DON'T DO THAT.
I have a pussy. It's very hairy. It has a long thing sticking out of it. It's also very hair. My hairy pussy meows and purrs.
What's the difference between an orphan and a Chinese kid?
The Chinese kid has a home.
What is the difference between a normal kid and an orphan?
A normal kid has a family.
Q: Why is Saturn a boy planet?
A: Because he has a nice ring to it.
Your mum has balls.
I need a new butt. This one has a hole in it.