How do you know someone has Down syndrome?
They're doing better than you.
HA Jokes
A penis has a sad life.
His hair is a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor is an asshole, his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him up!
Primary School Maths Teacher: Maths has no Limits!
High School Maths Teacher: There's this thing called Limits.
What has four legs and one arm?
A rottweiler at a park.
What has 4 hairy legs and fucks my sister?
Me & my dad!
A man walks into a bar and sees a jar of ten dollar bills, so he asks the bartender if it's a jar of tips. The bartender says no, it's for a bet. So the man asks what the bet is and the bartender says, "Well, if you put ten dollars into the jar then knock out the bouncer, next you go outside and remove a rotten tooth out of the rottweiler's mouth, and last you go upstairs and give an orgasm to the fat lady who has never had one. If you can do all those things then you get everything in the jar as well as free drinks for the month." So the guy puts in ten dollars, turns to the guy next to him and knocks him out with one punch. Then the guy continues outside, all you hear for an hour is screaming and whining from the dog. When all is silent, the man walks in and asks, "So where is the fat lady with the tooth?"
Dave got a new job at the suicide hotline.
The manager shows him to his desk and Dave has a seat.
The manager says, "Remember! Your job is to make sure that the person at the other end of the line does not kill himself, no matter what! That's the one thing you have to do!"
Dave says "No problem! I will do exactly what you just told me!" and the manager leaves him to his job.
A few minutes, later Dave's phone rings.
"Hello?" Dave answers. No response for a few seconds, then a voice appears.
"My wife cheated on me," a man says. The man on the other end of the line is clearly depressed.
"I'm sorry to hear that," Dave says.
"I found out that she's been doing it for months; she says I don't treat her well enough. She's filing for divorce and threatening to take the kids from me. I don't know what to do. I just took up drinking and gambling, the pain goes away at first but it always comes back. I don't think I can even afford to see a psychiatrist; money is tight as it always is. I wish I could manage my finances better... I just don't see any way out. I think the only thing I can do that makes sense is to just kill myself."
Dave pauses for a moment, thinks, and then he asks:
"Wouldn't it make more sense to kill her?"
What's the difference between a water bottle and Africa?
One has water; the other one doesnβt.
One day a couple was walking when the man stepped on something hard and squishy, then they heard a sound from the bushes. Instead of looking down, they both ran.
Two years later, they turned on the TV to find Ted Bundy on trial. They asked him if he has ever been caught. He said, "No, but a couple was walking as soon as I killed a girl. I jumped into a bush. They didn't know I was there, but the man stepped on the dead body but didn't look down, then he and his girlfriend ran."
Why is the bald eagle bald?
Because it has no hair.
It has feathers. LOL.
What is the difference between Clash Royale and the Twin Towers?
Clash Royale still has a tower.
The world has turned upside down. Orphans are now being homeschooled.
What cookie has an orphan never had?
Homemade.
Chuck Norris has come in contact with Covid.
Covid is now in a 14-day quarantine.
How are an orphan and baseball different from each other?
A baseball game has a home run.
I told a furry, "Don't call yourself a joke!" I said to the furry, "Joke has meanings."
I heard that the World Orphan Organization has a sponsor... DC Comics.
What did the hamster say to the penis? "Ha, you look just like me!"
If you play FNF, I play a game because he has two balls, boi.
What do Myspace and my dad have in common?
I haven't seen them in a while.
