HA jokes

What is the scariest thing you'll ever see in your life? James Charles thinking he has rights.

Q: What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in the bathtub?

A: Throw in some laundry.

A plane is going to crash. There are four passengers and only three parachutes. All the staff are safe and are gone, leaving the passengers. Ryan Reynolds is the first. He says, "My fans need me," and jumps. Donald Trump takes another and says, "I am the smartest president," and jumps, leaving one. There is a pope and a boy left. The pope says, "Child, my life is over and yours has just begun, take the last parachute." The boy replies, "Don't worry - Donald took my backpack."

Hi! This is a good prank I did! Okay, my sister has this crush and his name is Braylon. So, he texted my sister saying he wants to hang out with her, which I think means date. So anyway, I did this. My text said, "Hi Braylon, I can't hang out today... or the other day because I have homework, so please no hang out!" This is super wrong, but funny! Braylon texted back and said, "Fine, I can help." And I texted back and said, "Oh, will come here around 10:00." And my sister did not know he was coming... She was so embarrassed, she was still in her nightgown! HAHAHAH. O to the k, bye, that's the prankster!!!!

Student: A plane is carrying 204 bricks, one falls out, how many are left?

Teacher: 203

Student: How do you put an elephant in the fridge?

Teacher: You can't.

Student: Yes, you can. Open the fridge door, put the elephant in.

How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?

Teacher: Open the door, put in the giraffe?

Student: No, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe.

The Lion King is having a party, who isn't there?

Teacher: Let me guess, the lion.

Student: No, the giraffe, he's stuck in a fridge.

Sally has to cross a river full of vicious alligators to get to safety, she gets across safely how?

Teacher: She stepped on the alligators?

Student: No, the alligators are at the party.

Sally dies anyway, how?

Teacher: She frowned?

Student: No, she was hit in the head by a falling brick.

How do you know someone has Down syndrome?

They're doing better than you.

A news headline read: "A toddler has shot a person every week in the US for two years straight."

He was in the infantry.

What did the kid who has no arms get for Christmas?

He couldn't even open it.

I just got a job at the prison library.

It has its prose and cons.

At first I was skeptical, but the universe has really grown on me.

My friend Liam has a hairline [if you can even call it a hairline] so bad it keeps going back for miles.

Hello everyone, now a question to make it in there is no right or wrong answer, but who here has watched fireb0rn??

Everyone always has a special person in their life someday, but I think yours got ran over by a bus.

A depressed man has been thinking of killing himself, and his friend says, "Find God, he'll help you!"

Then the man said, "There’s only one way to get to God, and that is through Jesus. Have you, my friend, found him?"

What do orphans and TVs have in common?

At least one of them has a home.

Which book takes an extreme turn and has an incredible plot twist?

- The math book. Suddenly letters appear in the calculations...

A phone is like parents. Not everyone has one.

What does a tornado need when it has multiple sclerosis?

A hurri-CANE.

Why do you tell actors to break a leg? Because every play has a cast.

What did Sally do when she got home?

Cry because she has no arms.