HA jokes
I hate it when you say your life is a joke because a joke actually has meaning.
Why can’t U.S.A or England play chess?
Because the U.S.A has no towers, and England doesn’t have a queen.
Your momma is so old she has been a waitress at the last supper.
My mom has a toy that I see all the girls and guys seem to play with, and the toy is between my mom's legs.
As a brother, I have to report my sister has a few new symptoms that are going around, and those symptoms are that she has big titties, a sweet pussy, and a great personality.
"What do you give a man that has everything? Penicillin."
Riddle me this, Batman, what's long, round, and has cum in the middle?
Batman: A dick.
Riddler: NO NO NOOO! It's a cucumber!
My grandma has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
"Our teen has decreed we are the 'Worst Parents Ever.' We will hold our coronation ceremony to accept this honor next Friday. Invitations to follow."
What sits on the seabed and has anxiety? A nervous wreck.
What has 2 arms but no legs?
A crippled woman with no more meaning in her life.
A priest asks a nun if she has slept with anyone, and the nun says, "Yes, a fucking hot girl!"
I saw two blind men fighting at the mall. I yelled, "He has a gun!" They both ran.
No one has the right to look down on others unless you're perfect, and looking down on others is not perfect either.
It's just true.
Why do we tell actors to break a leg?
Cause every play has a cast.
A note for My arts/health teacher:
oh ms aziz, you've got no rizz, all she do is screams, whether u like it or not, she thinks this makes her hot, she thinks this makes her pop but it just makes me want to crack her head from the top, until she says STOP, and down on the ground she goes plop... and her screaming has finally stopped, and my plan hasn't flopped thus far.... plan B is ram her with my car, fill her shoes with tar, and the prahnas i'll set on her go RAWR... she don't know what she coming for.
What does a kid who has autism and reading have in common?
Absolutely nothing.
What's the difference between a Black person and a White person?
One has a dad, while the other searches.
A man comes to a bar and has a drink. Then his bully came to him and stole his drink. Then the bully asked, "What's wrong?"
The man said that "I'm trying to kill myself. I tried getting hit by a train, but the train went on a different track. Then I tried to jump off a bridge, but I fell on a boat full of pillows. Then I tried to poison myself."
Then the bully says, "Then what?" Then the man replied, "You just drank it." Then the man left.
Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. It's not dead, just afraid to move.