Grocery

Grocery Jokes

My dad went to go get milk, he came back 7 years later and we had to send him back because he got the wrong milk

What's the difference between an orphan dying and a bag of groceries being dropped? While most agree that both are unfortunate, people actually care when they drop their groceries.

one day i seen a little boy walking in the grocery store so i asked if he was ok and he said yes i asked where his parents were and he said his mom died years ago and his dad is stuck in the milk isle

It was Christmas time for Little Johnny. He was going to make some cookies and milk for Santa until he heard shaking and moaning from his mother's bedroom. He thinks, "Meh, Dad's probably back from the grocery store". But 2 seconds later, he heard a "Ho Ho Ho Oh YEAH" and then a slap. He opens the door. He finds Santa riding on his 19 yr old mom. He asks, "Santa, when did you get here and WHAT are you doing?". Santa replied, "Your mother asked for her 'milk jar' to be filled, and that's what I am doing." Johnny says, "Oh." "But, Mom, you told me Dad was here, well where is he?"

(Santa winks at you)

Milk makes you tall right? Well how did you get tall if your dad didn't come back with the milk??

my 14 year old daughter went shopping at grocery story - she gets to the register and she asked the cashier to scan her scarred wrist , - the cashier scanned it and replied with " ma'am this item is worthless "

I saw a news ad on tv about a dad coming home after getting milk i said "ive never seen that one before"

I’m a cashier at a grocery store, and when I’m bored I draw on my hands with pen, well this guy walks up to me and says “ you know I got mental illnesses from drawing on myself” and so without thinking I said “ well I’ve already got those so I think I’m fine.... 😳he looked concerned. Oops lol