Grief jokes
My girlfriend's dog died, so I got her a new one in replacement, and she went off on me and yelled,
"What am I supposed to do with 2 dead dogs in my house?!"
Why do orphans not play baseball?
Because they can't make a home run.
Why do orphans eat cereal without milk?
Their dad never came with it.
Guy on Fortnite: "Ima sleep with your mom lmao."
Orphan: Starts crying.
Mom died, so I planted mums and forget-me-nots all over her grave site.
You tell an orphan joke to an orphan. You start laughing, they start crying. They say they are going to tell their mom. Then you start laughing harder.
Why did the orphan wait in line?
To see their parents next.
Why did the orphan try to fly? It was trying to find its parents.
Me: Hey, are your parents here?
Orphan: (crying) STOP CALLING HERE!
Why do orphans cry?
Because they got no family.
Don’t cry when you attend my funeral, I was dead long ago so why cry now?
Why don't orphans go to the park?
Because their parents can't push them on the swing!
I saw a little kid crying today. I asked where his parents were, and he started to cry more. I left the orphanage to get some milk after that.
Why do orphans love McDonald's?
Because the initials are like "mother" and "father."
The other day I commented a dark humor joke on a post about a guy who lost his best friend. The joke was “I was so drunk last night I threw a mushroom at a midget and said ‘grow mario grow.’” He commented “What the hell is wrong with you?” and I said “IKR I really gotta work on my alcoholic issues.”
He then replied “This is a post about my dead best friend get the fuck off my feed I don’t even know you.” And so I said “Well then get to know me, I could become your new best friend!”
Note to all.
My name is Lariah. Lariah Carla Brown, 14 years old and I am 1 of triplets. I don't understand how rape jokes are funny, and I just want to make that statement clear. I also hate orphan jokes because I WAS one. Notice when I put WAS! I also see jokes about cancer, now I know you can't be kidding. You know that cancer is a disease that many people get and could die from, so you are just wrong about that!
Orphan: Help, I'm lost.
Someone: Wears your parents.
Orphan: >:(
The person I hate: Omg, my mom and dad just died.
Me: Omg, I am so sorry, don't worry.
The person I hate: I have a boyfriend.
Me: Well, I have a mom and dad.
The person I hate: Rood.
Me: Shut up.
At an orphan's funeral, you say, "Your dad came back."
Why do orphans get an iPhone X?
Because they have no home button.