Grief jokes
Why can an orphan not do school work?
Because they have to take their work home to their parents.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't run home.
Orphans: Where are my parents?
Random person: In the bed.
Why can't depressed kids high five a tree? It will leave them hanging.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home!
A serial killer was at my house and killed all my family but me. Why? I was in the living room.
What do sloths and depressed people have in common? They both hang off trees.
What is a group of depressed kids called? The suicide squad.
Why are orphans' funerals so small?
They have no loved ones.
Girl: Rip, mother, I love you.
Me: Sorry for your loss.
Girl: Stop, I have a boyfriend.
Me: Stop, I have a mother.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home. 😢
Why do orphans not like the iPhone 11 Pro?
A: Because it doesn't have a home button.
A cemetery should be built next to orphanages, so the orphans can see their parents.
I held on to my money stronger than an orphan holds on to a teddy bear on Father's Day.
Why is an orphan crying about its family?
Because it can't "let it go."
So sad when the emo kid tried to give a high five to a tree.
Too bad he left him hanging.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Not your dad?"
A girl was going through some really bad health issues at her house. It got so bad that she had to be rushed to the hospital.
Her husband found out about this after work and went to check on her. When he got there, the desk lady immediately pointed down the hall to a doctor. The guy walked up to the doctor, "Are you the one taking care of my wife?" The doctor glanced away from his papers, "Yes, that would be me, but I am afraid that she is in very bad condition. I have bad news and good news. The bad news is that she will have to be wheeled around in a wheelchair. Also, she can't eat normally. Taking care of her will become very hard. Basically, it will be like taking care of a big baby." Shocked, the guy says, "Wait, if that's the bad news, than what is the good news?" The doctor goes, "I'm just kidding with you, she died!"
I got an Xbox achievement the other day. It said "Trash Master," and everyone looked at me at the funeral.
Imagine when you are about to cry at the funeral, then your friend's phone rings.
Then he says, "I'll call you back, I'm still at the die."
What's the worst thing you can say to a widow?
"I'm sorry, I just had to."
What is the difference between you and me? I have parents and yours left...
Gwen, we can chat in 2 months. My aunt just died from COVID, and it is taking forever for us to get there to California. I love you, your boyfriend, Prince!
Saying I'm sorry and I apologize are basically the same thing... except at a funeral.