Great jokes

I went out with this girl the other night. She wore this real slinky number. She especially looked great going down the stairs.

Q: Sex is great, only your mate can sometimes be a little nuts!

(I am still a single young virgin.)

"Nepal is a good place because it has been a great time for me."

I met this girl at a bar and started doing her from behind. Everything was great until she turned and said, "My turn!"

Husband: Hey, my dear, this lunch is great. Where did you find the recipe?

Wife: In a detective novel.

A young boy was talking to his friend about his family:

"My great-grandfather fought against Napoleon, my grandfather fought against the English, my father fought against the Americans, and my uncle against the Argentinians."

The friend replied: "It seems that your family can't get along with anybody!"

My grief counselor died today. He did such a great job. I don't even care.

Alfred the Great was arguably the greatest king in England’s history.

The worst? Richard the Goat Fucker.

I got a great corona virus joke, but you wouldn’t get it.

What's great about an emo pizza?

It cuts itself. Yay!

Yo forehead is bigger than the Great Wall of China!

Man 1: I-I ran my mom over to get a stupid book.

Man 2: Aww, books aren't that bad. I'm sure she thinks you're a great son considering she can't drive anymore.

Man 1: She was in the road, and I was rushing to get the last copy of this book. She can't drive or do anything anymore.

911 jokes are just plane wrong, my dad was a great pilot you know.

This joke probably flew over people's heads, but for some people it flew into their head.

What do you call a magic car that I can do to help me out for you and I will be doing a great day?

I miss playing baseball.

Have a great year!

Have a great day today!

My depressed body would look great hanging from a tree...

Q. What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? A. Same middle name! 😂

I once had a pet snake, exactly 3.14 meters.

He was a great πthon.