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Man 1: I-I ran my mom over to get a stupid book.

Man 2: Aww, books aren't that bad. I'm sure she thinks you're a great son considering she can't drive anymore.

Man 1: She was in the road, and I was rushing to get the last copy of this book. She can't drive or do anything anymore.

911 jokes are just plane wrong, my dad was a great pilot you know.

This joke probably flew over people's heads, but for some people it flew into their head.

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    • What do you call a magic car that I can do to help me out for you and I will be doing a great day?

    I woke up this morning thinking it was gonna be a great day. But then I realized I was still alive.

    Decisions taken by world leaders often have great significance during a crisis.

    The Americans, in particular, are suffering many losses during the current global pandemic. Remember, in the 1980's they had Ronald Reagan, Johnny Cash, and Bob Hope.

    In 2020 they have Donald Trump, no Cash, and no Hope!

    A man goes into a job interview and sits down.

    The interviewer is looking over his resume and says, "I see here that there's a 4-year gap on your resume. What were you doing?"

    The man says, "Oh, that was when I went to Yale!"

    The interviewer is impressed and says, "That's great! You're hired!"

    The man smiles. "Really? I'm so glad, because I really need this Yob."

    Trump said: "Let's make America great again."

    Translation by Democrats:

    "Let's fake America again."

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    • JFK was one of the most open-minded presidents. It really blows my mind how great he was.

    Chesley, in horror, runs out of the cockpit of the plane coming from London, "I'm so very sorry, everyone. I punched the wrong buttons, and we are heading to DC instead of New York, and we are about to run out of fuel." He opens the door and turns around to the five passengers and exclaimed, "I've parachutes but miscounted. We only got four for the passengers." He jumps off.

    Donald faced the other four and orders:

    "I'm the greatest leader of the world, and I'll make the decision. Tony, you go first. Our country needs you. The whole wide world needs you. Pandemic is raging."

    Tony jumps off.

    "Francis, my friend, you go next. Pandemic is ravaging the mind and body of millions. Their soul needs saving. Save Vladimir's and Xi's for me."

    Francis jumps off.

    Hillary faced Donald furiously. "Who are you to make decisions for us? I should have been president. I'm the smartest woman in the whole world in history."

    Hillary jumps off.

    Donald gazed at the young woman and started talking: "I'm an old man. I have already lived a full life - beautiful wives, children, just a beautiful life. Just beautiful. I've become president of the most powerful country, the most beautiful, the richest. Regrets? I've made a few but did it my way. Greta, go on. Your future is bright. I just wish I can make my country great again and have the chance to help save the world with you. I believe in second chances. Look at my bankruptcies, believe me. And I wish I've played more golf and..."

    Greta interjected, "Just shut the f* up. The plane is about to crash. Let's go and save the world. The smartest woman in history took my backpack!"

    Friend: Hey, wanna play hide and seek? Me: Sure, I've got a great spot! Me: *grabs knife and runs to my closet*

    A: It’s very delicious! Great! Fantastic!

    B: Thank you.

    A: People don’t speak when they eat delicious foods!