Great jokes
Husband: Hey, my dear, this lunch is great. Where did you find the recipe?
Wife: In a detective novel.
A young boy was talking to his friend about his family:
"My great-grandfather fought against Napoleon, my grandfather fought against the English, my father fought against the Americans, and my uncle against the Argentinians."
The friend replied: "It seems that your family can't get along with anybody!"
My grief counselor died today. He did such a great job. I don't even care.
Alfred the Great was arguably the greatest king in England’s history.
The worst? Richard the Goat Fucker.
I got a great corona virus joke, but you wouldn’t get it.
What's great about an emo pizza?
It cuts itself. Yay!
Yo forehead is bigger than the Great Wall of China!
Man 1: I-I ran my mom over to get a stupid book.
Man 2: Aww, books aren't that bad. I'm sure she thinks you're a great son considering she can't drive anymore.
Man 1: She was in the road, and I was rushing to get the last copy of this book. She can't drive or do anything anymore.
911 jokes are just plane wrong, my dad was a great pilot you know.
This joke probably flew over people's heads, but for some people it flew into their head.
What do you call a magic car that I can do to help me out for you and I will be doing a great day?
I miss playing baseball.
Have a great year!
Have a great day today!
My depressed body would look great hanging from a tree...
Q. What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? A. Same middle name! 😂
I once had a pet snake, exactly 3.14 meters.
He was a great πthon.
I woke up this morning thinking it was gonna be a great day. But then I realized I was still alive.
Decisions taken by world leaders often have great significance during a crisis.
The Americans, in particular, are suffering many losses during the current global pandemic. Remember, in the 1980's they had Ronald Reagan, Johnny Cash, and Bob Hope.
In 2020 they have Donald Trump, no Cash, and no Hope!
A man goes into a job interview and sits down.
The interviewer is looking over his resume and says, "I see here that there's a 4-year gap on your resume. What were you doing?"
The man says, "Oh, that was when I went to Yale!"
The interviewer is impressed and says, "That's great! You're hired!"
The man smiles. "Really? I'm so glad, because I really need this Yob."
Trump said: "Let's make America great again."
Translation by Democrats:
"Let's fake America again."