What did one cow say to the other? You are mootiful!
Grass Jokes
Vegans: Save the Earth.
Normal People: We're trying to, but you guys keep eating it!
What is green?
Grass, you tard!
Me: "Hey, you trashy pig woman, go in the toilet or lay on the grass where you belong."
Trashy pig woman: "Why?"
Because you smell like fart, and you're pretty much just a turd with lips.
What do you call a short cow in tall grass? Udderly tickled :)
A happy little girl was running on the grass. She saw two gay guys kissing in a blank space, and she started crying. The two gay guys heard her crying, and then they asked her: "Why are you crying?" The little girl answered: "This is the first time I see an unnatural nature."
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What do you call a cow eating grass?
A Lawn Moo-er.
Why did the camel cross the road?
Because it wanted to get to the bright green grass.
What's the difference between cars and grass?
They both have wheels, except for the grass.
Roses are red.
Grass is green.
I think of you sucking my peen.
Why do people want emo grass? Because it'll cut itself.
There are 5 cows in a field. One of them is the mom, the rest are kids. One of the kids walked up to the mom and asked, "Why am I named Daisy?" and then a daisy fell on her head.
The second cow came up to the mom and asked, "Why am I named Rose?" and then a rose fell on her head. Then the 3rd cow said, "Why am I named Violet?" then a violet fell on her head. Then the 4th cow walked up and said, "Merrrbere." Then the mom said, "Shutup, cinder block!"
I wish my lawn was emo, because then it would cut itself.
Roses are red, grass is greener. When I think of you, I play with my wiener.
What's the best part about having emo grass?
It cuts itself!
When I'm cutting my grass, want to know what it reminds me of? My arms and legs.
Why does Barry Bannan laugh when he plays football?
Because the grass tickles his balls because he's so short.
I'm starting to wish my grass was emo.
Why?
So it would cut itself.
A man was mowing his lawn when blue and red stuff came out instead of grass. Next thing he knew, a smurf was on his shoulder asking if heβs seen his friend.
What do you call a cow grazing a field with 50% grass and 50% weed?
High steaks gambling.