Good things jokes

Friend: How's it going?

Me: Good, things are good!

Parent: How are you?

Me: Oh, I'm fine!

Twitter: Compose new tweet?

Me: Hellooooo, I would like to tell you about my anxiety & my current greatest fears & let's talk about the impending apocalypse while we're at it.

I looked this quote up, but it really is a good thing, just for starters.

"Sometimes you will never know the VALUE of a moment until it becomes a MEMORY."

My dad told me I'm a failure.

I failed a math test.

Good thing there's a pole outside my house.

What's the one good thing about pedophiles? They slow down near schoolzones.

The good thing about being gay in school is that you can be the best student and still get all the D's.

My friend Jimmy said his dad is exactly like Santa. I asked, "Why is it because he gives people presents?" Jimmy told me, "No, it's because I hear so many good things about him and how he's gonna come home, but never see him."

I wasn’t close to my dad when he died. It’s a good thing he stepped on a land mine.

I can't remember the last full conversation I had with my grandfather.

Good thing is, since he hit his head, he can't remember either.

The one good thing about an orphan is that they don't get roasted with a "yo mama" joke.

A guy is walking down the street when he almost steps in something. He looks down and says, "Looks like shit."

He crouches down and smells it, "Smells like shit."

He sticks his finger in, tastes it, "Tastes like shit."

He then smiles and says, "Well, good thing I didn't step on it!"

The good thing about dead baby jokes is that they never get old.

"Love is a good thing, never be embarrassed by it."

Q: What’s a good thing about child molesters?

A: They drive slow through school zones.

What’s one good thing about child molesters? They drive slow in a school zone.

Two cows are standing in a field.

Cow 1: Did you hear about the outbreak of mad cow disease?

Cow 2: Good thing I'm a helicopter.

Hello, I am Alan Shawn Feinstein. I would like to know who the owner of this website "worstjokesever.com" is.

I am interested in buying this website. Please respond to me in the comments or email me. Thank you, and keep doing good things.

I saw a dad shave his daughter's head because she made fun of a woman with cancer.

Good thing she didn’t make fun of a pregnant woman 🤭

People say killing two birds with one stone is a good thing, but when I did it, people just looked horrified.

I went trick or treating this year with friends. Good thing I dressed as a zombie...

no one could tell that it was their blood.