Good things

Good things jokes

Friend

  • My friend Jimmy said his dad is exactly like Santa. I asked, "Why is it because he gives people presents?" Jimmy told me, "No, it's because I hear so many good things about him and how he's gonna come home, but never see him."

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    Zombie

  • I went trick or treating this year with friends. Good thing I dressed as a zombie...

    no one could tell that it was their blood.

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    Dirt

  • When I was a boy, I had a disease that required me to eat dirt three times a day in order to survive... It's a good thing my older brother told me about it.

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    Student

  • The good thing about being gay in school is that you can be the best student and still get all the D's.

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  • Bird

  • People say killing two birds with one stone is a good thing, but when I did it, people just looked horrified.

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    Bunny

  • This bunny named Mason came up to a bar and ordered a beer and a burger. He sits at a table and the waiter brought a huge burger.

    Mason: "Heh. Good thing I eat like a horse." He looks up at the waiter.

    Waiter: "You are a nasty little bunny, aren't you?"

    Mason screamed and ran away as the waiter chased him... she was a HORSE.

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    Body

  • I hate these double standards.

    Burn a body at a crematorium and you're doing a good thing, burn a body at home and you're destroying evidence.

    Daughter

  • I saw a dad shave his daughter's head because she made fun of a woman with cancer.

    Good thing she didn’t make fun of a pregnant woman 🤭

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    Party

  • Organise my brother's bucks party and got confused when he asked for a hot 22 year old for I brought him 20 two yr Olds....

    Good thing my brother's a little bit different.

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