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My wife asked me to get her a puppy. I agreed and went to an animal shelter. As I was searching for a puppy, a fire was set, and the entire animal shelter burned down.

A few hours later, I returned to my wife. She knew I had no puppies and asked why. I replied, "I couldn't find any." She understood but was upset, so I gave her something that I did get. She said, "Wow! This is good, what smokehouse did you get this at?"

It's embarrassing when there is no toilet paper and you need to go and get one with your pants down. Luckily, the supermarket is just around the corner.

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    • Disabled people can help the world to get a printed copy of "Leaning Tower of Pisa," exactly leaned at an angle.

    What time is it when you get a chance to take a car and drive all over?

    Time to get in trouble!

    There's a girl I like in my school, but she's always on her phone. It seems that I can't get a SIGNAL from her.

    1. You're so dumb, you think Cheerios are donut seeds!

    2. You're so fat, you could sell shade!

    3. You're just like coconut water, nobody likes you!

    4. Have you been shopping lately? Because they're selling lives around the corner, you should go get one!

    If being ugly was a crime, you would get a life sentence!!

    Are these good?

    What name do you get if you mix the names Chris and Marisa?

    Then you get the name Chrisa.