Germany jokes
In a deep village in Germany, an old man asked his granddaughter, "What are you doing?"
His granddaughter replies, "Removing Polish with chemicals."
Grandpa said, "When I was young, I did the same."
Why did Hitler kill himself? He knew the war was over at the beginning.
You know why Hitler wouldn’t drink whisky? Because it made him angry.
What did Hitler feel about all the jokes about him? Führereous.
Why don't orphans like Russia and Germany?
Because it's the Mother and Father Land.
I don't say funny stuff because I'm afraid they will take the German passport from me.
Say what you want about Hitler, at least he got the trains to run on time.
What did the Nazi say when a doll hit his daughter?
A-doll Hitler!
Question: How bad is German WiFi?
Answer: It's the wurst.
Why was Hitler bad at math? He could only count to nein.
I was going from Germany to Austria, and I accidentally crossed the border illegally. When the police caught me, they told me I was a Nazi. I asked them, "Why?" They said I didn't see the border.
Should we go to America for treatment?
We stayed in Essen and then left.
In America, you have Pop-Tarts. We in Germany here have Toastbrot.
The nearest approximation to a perpetuum mobile would be a Swabian chasing a Scot because of money.
(Swabians are the Scots of Germany regarding finances.)
Why did Hitler kill himself? Cause gas prices were too high!
Why did Hitler lose the war?
Because Göring ate every last airplane, tank, artillery, ship, and ammunition!
How do you call an iPhone cover in Germany?
An apple bag. 😜
Why did Germany win World War Two? Wait—that's not right... um... excuse me while I look up who won the war...
*disconnected*
So, apparently, Hitler's dad was quite the abusive fellow, always beating his son.
Guess that's why he's called (Hit)ler.
How does Hitler tie his shoes?
Into little Nazis.