Germany jokes

Why don't orphans like Russia and Germany?

Because it's the Mother and Father Land.

Why did Hitler never go to a strip club?

He hated the Poles.

Why was Hitler bad at math?

He could only count to nein.

I would like to say Hitler gave two fucks about his people.

But quite Anne frankly, I'd be lying.

What did the Nazi say when a doll hit his daughter?

A-doll Hitler!

What happens when a furry takes over Nazi Germany?

The Furred Reich.

I kinda feel sorry for Hitler.

Looking back at some old photos of him, his friends always left him hanging when he went for a high-five.

Say what you want about Hitler, at least he got the trains to run on time.

Meaning behind the German flag: 🇩🇪 Black: culture Red: Beer Yellow: Sausage Blue: Winning world wars.

So, apparently, Hitler's dad was quite the abusive fellow, always beating his son.

Guess that's why he's called (Hit)ler.

The Nazis.

I was going from Germany to Austria, and I accidentally crossed the border illegally. When the police caught me, they told me I was a Nazi. I asked them, "Why?" They said I didn't see the border.

In 1941, Hans, a young German boy, was listening to the radio.

Over the radio, Hitler announced that Germany was now going to war with the United States.

"Father, where is the United States?" Hans asked.

His father pointed at a map of North America.

"Aren’t we currently at war with Russia? Where might that be?" he questioned his father.

The man pointed towards the Soviet Union.

"And I’m told we’re also at war with the British Empire. Where is that?"

The father pointed out all of the territories owned by the British.

"Where is Germany again, Father?"

He pointed to their home country in Central Europe.

Hans pondered this information for a second. "One last question, Father."

"Yes?"

"Has Hitler seen this map?"

How tall does the grass grow in Germany?

Zis high!

What is the one sauce Germans avoid on their steak?

"Ajous".

How do you call an iPhone cover in Germany?

An apple bag. 😜

In a deep village in Germany, an old man asked his granddaughter, "What are you doing?"

His granddaughter replies, "Removing Polish with chemicals."

Grandpa said, "When I was young, I did the same."

Why is the Nazi Anthem banned in Germany? Because Horst Wessel lied.

"Popcorn" means "Photo-Oxidant formation by Plant-emitted Compounds and OH Radicals in Northeastern Germany."

"HO" means a woman, in particular one who has many casual sexual encounters or relationships. So basically, popcorn is a woman in plant based sex encountered a lot in a nazi camp.

How does Hitler tie his shoes?

Into little Nazis.