Germany jokes
Why didn't R. Kelly go to Germany to fuck teens? The legal age there is 14...Like bro hop on a plane and fuck a 14 year old hooker!
Should we go to America for treatment?
We stayed in Essen and then left.
What is the one sauce Germans avoid on their steak?
"Ajous".
What do you call a blind German?
A not see.
Why did Hitler lose the war?
Because Göring ate every last airplane, tank, artillery, ship, and ammunition!
damn they did them durty
Germans be like, “Guten Morgan.”
Bitch, that's not my name.
Why did Germany win World War Two? Wait—that's not right... um... excuse me while I look up who won the war...
*disconnected*
Why is the Nazi Anthem banned in Germany? Because Horst Wessel lied.
I kinda feel sorry for Hitler.
Looking back at some old photos of him, his friends always left him hanging when he went for a high-five.
How tall does the grass grow in Germany?
Zis high!
The Nazis.
Why was Hitler bad at math?
He could only count to nein.
I would like to say Hitler gave two fucks about his people.
But quite Anne frankly, I'd be lying.
Say what you want about Hitler, at least he got the trains to run on time.
What happens when a furry takes over Nazi Germany?
The Furred Reich.
How do you call an iPhone cover in Germany?
An apple bag. 😜
Hitler was talking about how to fight in WW2 when someone sneezed while Hitler was giving a speech, so Hitler yelled, "WHO SNEEZED ROW 1? DID ANYONE SNEEZE?" They said no, and Hitler shot everybody. Same for row 2 & 3, but in row 4 someone nervous said, "Me, I'm sorry." Then Hitler said, "Bless you."
In 1941, Hans, a young German boy, was listening to the radio.
Over the radio, Hitler announced that Germany was now going to war with the United States.
"Father, where is the United States?" Hans asked.
His father pointed at a map of North America.
"Aren’t we currently at war with Russia? Where might that be?" he questioned his father.
The man pointed towards the Soviet Union.
"And I’m told we’re also at war with the British Empire. Where is that?"
The father pointed out all of the territories owned by the British.
"Where is Germany again, Father?"
He pointed to their home country in Central Europe.
Hans pondered this information for a second. "One last question, Father."
"Yes?"
"Has Hitler seen this map?"
Hitler is a national hero, he killed Hitler... Oh wait.
Why did Hitler kill himself? Cause gas prices were too high!