George

George jokes

Clock

A man dies and goes to Heaven. He sees a bunch of clocks and asks Jesus what they are for. He replied they are gauges, and that they move when people lie. He said that Mother Teresa's has moved twice, Abraham Lincoln's once, and George Washington's never.

The man asks to see the current president's, and Jesus just laughs and says that Joe Biden's is the one keeping the hurricanes to speed.

  • 3
  • President

    Hillary Clinton is elected president...

    And on the first night she spends in the White House, she is visited by the ghost of George Washington. She asks him, "George, what can I do to best serve the United States?"

    The ghost of George Washington responds, "Never tell a lie."

    She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."

    The next night, she is visited by the ghost of Thomas Jefferson. She asks him, "Thomas, what can I do to best serve the United States?"

    The ghost of Thomas Jefferson responds, "Listen to the people."

    She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."

    On the third night, she is visited by the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. She asks him, "Abraham, what can I do to best serve the United States?"

    The ghost of Abraham Lincoln responds, "Go see a play."

    Submarine

    What’s the name of OceanGate’s next submarine?

    Judging by the breathing conditions on their subs, I bet they’ll call it the "George Floyd."

    Bacon

    One morning, Peppy and George came downstairs for breakfast, but they got a plate of juicy bacon. Their dad had recently gone missing, so they ate it quite sadly.

    The next morning, they went to school and asked their teacher, "What is bacon made out of?" The teacher replied, "Pigs, why?" Peppa and George looked horrified.

    Memes

    Song

    What is George Floyd's favorite song?

    "Wishing Well" by Juice WRLD.

    Gorilla

    What did George Washington Carver have anything to do with gorillas? It's a little possible, ya dummy!

    Difference

    What's the difference between Pink Floyd and George Floyd?

    When Pink Floyd can't breathe, it's because all their fans are smoking pot.

    Bill Clinton

    Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, and George Washington are on a sinking ship.

    As the boat sinks, George Washington heroically shouts: “Save the women!”

    George W. Bush hysterically hollers: “Screw the women!”

    Bill Clinton asks excitedly: “Do we have time?”

    George Floyd

    Not a joke: one of George Floyd's criminal friends shot his grand-niece as they wanted a piece of the 27 million dollars

    Short jokes

    I was wearing a George Floyd t-shirt

    And a person said to me:

    "That must be a bit tight round the neck".

    Song

    What's the best song to sing to George Floyd?

    "I Will Survive," by Gloria Gaynor.