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Friends jokes

Jay and Andrew are best friends who are almost alike. The difference between them both is Jay is poor and well... Andrew, on the other hand, is suck-a-dick poor. Let me explain, Jay wakes up in his room, walks to the kitchen, and asks his mom, Lisa (I call her Lisa now, btw), if there is anything to eat. "No, bitch!" she replies, so Jay drinks a glass of milk and goes back to bed.

Now Andrew... wakes up, jumps out of bed, and he's in the kitchen. He sees his mom fixing some food for work after a long hard night of giving her husband blue balls. "Anything left for me, Mother?" Andrew asks. "Sorry, Honey, I have to eat to put food on the table and to get the running again." *so she goes to work, taking her time* Andrew sits by his bedside and says to himself, "Man... I'd suck a dick for some water right now." *his mom storms back after hearing what he had said* "I'll buy you a soda if you do my first customer for me!"

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    • "hvhuhdsjcjdsijdskdsivhdsvhsjdvnsjdvdshvgdshgsdhfgh" That's what my friend said when he gave an EpiPen. I don't know why, though.

    A penis has a bad life. His neighbor is an asshole, his friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him.

    Why are a gun and a bag of chips alike?

    You pull them out at school and everyone wants to be your friend.

    I love you. You too. I love you. You have a good night. Love. Love. I love you. You and your mom, love. Love. You have the best friends. Love. You have fun. Love. Is it good? You you have to walk home from school and walk walk home from school. I have fun at home.

    Friend 1: What's the most disappointing thing that ever happened to you? For me, repeating a year.

    Friend 2: Failing an important test. And you?

    Then there is me: My life.

    Friend 1: Eyyy gurl

    Me: Hey! (Fake smile)

    Friend 2: Hey g-guys what 'bout we play would you rather?

    6 hours later

    Friend 2: So (name) would u rather? 1. "Hang" out with me Or 2. "Jump" 1 times?

    Me...e-eh?...Why not both????? We could just "Jump" while "Hanging" out right?

    Friend 1: How can the skeleton tell it was going to rain?

    Me: He could feel it in his bones.

    Friend 1: No, he read the forecast, you fucking idiot!

    Heheh ;3

    Location is in London by the way.

    One day a fatass came home and told his friend that he lost money.

    His friend: "Oh for once you lost some pounds!"

    When you say to your friend, "I've got your back," then at his funeral you see in his coffin he's missing his middle piece.

    My friends: Ugh, why are you so lazy and no fun?

    My parents: Why can't you be like your siblings?

    My teacher: I don't care if you're depressed, focus on your study!

    The songs: We understand you :)

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    • My friend said, "Dude, if you don't put your desk in line with the column, you're gay." So he did it, and I said, "Well, I guess now he's straight." ;D

    Friend: Do you think she likes me?

    Me: Yah.

    Friend: Really😀😀😀?

    Me: Hell no.

    Friend: 😥😓😫😭😭😭😭😭😭 You did not have to be so honest.

    Friend, you so faaaat.

    Me: Boy, at least I'm not built like a Nintendo Switch.

    Friend: "You are so ugly." Me: "You can't be talking, you give Freddy Krueger nightmares."

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