French

French jokes

Garbage

91 views ·

There are 3 men: an American, a French, and an Italian who have to take a trip and take the plane.

The American puts his hand out the window and says: "We are in America, I touched the Statue of Liberty." The French says: "We are in France, I touched the Eiffel Tower." The Italian says: "We are in Italy, I touched the garbage!"

Fly

81 views ·

A French, a German, and an Italian make a race to see who resists the most in a room full of flies. The French starts, and after a quarter of an hour, comes out.

Then goes the German, who comes out after an hour. Finally, the Italian enters and comes out after five hours.

The French: "But how did you do it?"

The Italian: "I killed one."

The German: "So what?"

The Italian: "And then they were all busy for the funeral!"

Gear

29 views ·

The average French car has 7 gears, 6 of which are in reverse mode just in case the Germans come back.

War

5 views ·

What war game can the French win? None, they are always losing.

Documentary

13 views ·

I was excited to finally watch the new documentary on Netflix. It was about Pessi’s UberEats career.

In the trailer, Pessi delivered food to French farmers. I watched the documentary and got shocked when I found out how finished Pessi is. He delivered one Pizza in 44 attempts.

City

2 views ·

He was walking in the city as he was walking in the city as he was walking in the city as he was walking in the city as he was walking in the city as he was walking in the city hall in French, and then on his way to be a good friend of the situation in the city, as he had been fixed in a few hours of the situation in which he was walking. I will never shiver at the sight [of] words.

Cunnilingus

197 views ·

What is the difference between cunnilingus and a confused Parisian tourist?

One lapses into French, the other Frenches into laps.

Cat

29 views ·

Where does a French cat live?

- In Purr-is

OR

- In the Catacombs

OR

- In a chat-eau.

Kiss

6 views ·

Best way to kiss someone is to lick inside their mouth with your tongue a lot of times, and they will really like it, especially me!! - lizard kiss+ french kiss= SloBbY Kiss.

Thanks for learning and getting advice.

Also, don't be such a horny one!

Allergy

8 views ·

I find it difficult to count to ten in French: un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six, sept.

I can't say the next one because I have a "huit" allergy.

Ghost

2 views ·

Person 1: How smart are you?

Person 2: Really smart.

Person 1: Ok. If you have 3 ghosts and take away 2, how many are left?

Person 2: 1 ghost is left.

Person 1: Wrong! 0 ghosts are left because ghosts don't exist!

Fish

34 views ·

One knight, a king, and a queen went fishing. They each caught one fish, so how did three fish end up in the bucket?

One "knight"!!!

River

58 views ·

Toto is at school and asks if he can go to the bathroom. The teacher says no.

Then, she asks Toto, “Where is the biggest river in the world?”

“Under my bench,” he replies.

Potato

51 views ·

English: It's the story of two potatoes, one gets mashed and the other screams “Oh mash!”

French: C’est l’histoire de deux pommes de terre. Une d’elles se fait écraser et l’autre s’écrie “Oh purée!”