Fly jokes
What music do depressed people listen to?
"I Believe I Can Fly."
What's the difference between a pair of jeans and an African baby?
A pair of jeans only has 1 fly.
Why can't a dodo fly? Cus it suicided when it saw you will be born soon.
Last week I felt so high and mighty I thought I could fly. I took one shot, puffed through my pipe, and jumped in the air on a trampoline. I woke up in heaven.
I asked an angel, "How did I die?"
"Well, little monkey, you thought your bed was a trampoline and you hit your head. Your mom called the doctor, and the doctor said you were dead."
I'd tell you a 9/11 joke, but it'd fly over your head and into the Twin Towers.
What do you call a flying Aboriginal?
Boong 747.
Why did the penis go fly?
Because a girl sucked it too hard, it went flying away.
How do emos fly? They hang themselves.
Your head is so small, even a fly could eat it.
Can bees fly in the rain?
Not if they don't have their yellow jackets!
Why did the planes crash into the Twin Towers?
Women were flying the plane.
Why did the turtle start flying? He was on a jet.
A French, a German, and an Italian make a race to see who resists the most in a room full of flies. The French starts, and after a quarter of an hour, comes out.
Then goes the German, who comes out after an hour. Finally, the Italian enters and comes out after five hours.
The French: "But how did you do it?"
The Italian: "I killed one."
The German: "So what?"
The Italian: "And then they were all busy for the funeral!"
I'm a pilot and my boss told me to fly people to New York, so I flew them to New York and hit the towers. That was a tragic story.
I'm having lunch on the roof of the Twin Towers, and the biggest plane I've ever seen is flying toward...
Tonight, on Top Gear!
James May dives a bus full of kids off a mountain!
Richard Hammond starts WW3 in Germany!
And I fly a plane into the World Trade Center!
What type of bee can't fly...
Answer: Kobeee!
What do you call a bottle of water flying over Africa?
A UFO.
If you call the number 800-273-8500 in Afghanistan, they say, "Can you fly a plane?"
What can you say about planes that you can say about stocks?
They both be flying??