Why did Cleopatra bathe in milk? She couldn’t find a cow tall enough to have a shower.
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I had a dream that I was destroying the world, and I blew up my house for fun. I woke up and couldn't find my pillow... nor the house.
You get on an elevator and you find the Pope and Donald Trump cowering from two snarling wolves. In your hand you find a revolver with only two bullets in it... what do you do?
You shoot the Pope and the Donald each in a leg and exit the elevator at the next stop.
What's one thing you'll never find in lost and found?
Your dad.
How do you find out about the accomplishments of the former president of the United States James Earl Carter?
Read the label on the jar of Skippy peanut butter.
Why do orphans use iPhone X's?
Because they can't find home.
How many times does 50 fit into 9?
Get in a van and find out!
I used to date this girl only to find out she's a guy.
I guess you can say she had me in a trans.
If I ever find the doctor who screwed up my limb replacement surgery... I’ll kill him with my bear hands.
What's the rarest gun you can find in Africa? A water gun.
Why can’t you take a Black Asian guy golfing? Because he can’t drive and can’t find his own balls.
Do you know that no one finds Hitler a great guy?
But he really saved the History Channel.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
"WASSUP GIRLS IF I FIND YOU I'LL GLADLY FUCK YOU;]"
How do you find someone's hairline? It's simple, you don't.
Scientists are trying to find a cure for anorexics. It should be a piece of cake!
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find Homeplate.
What animal do you always find at a baseball game? A bat.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They can't find home.
If an orphan wants food, who does it? No one. Everybody just watches him starve because they couldn't find his parents.