How did Billy find out he was in a minefield?
He saw his dad's corpse holding a jug of milk.
How can you find out how old a cabbage is?
By looking at its cabbAGE.
Why does a married heterosexual man want an anonymous blowjob at a glory hole inside an adult bookstore?
Because he doesn't want his wife to find out that he got a blowjob from another man.
I can't find out where Stephen Hawking is from, I just can't place his accent.
If you have sex and your African parents find out,
“You can do the boom boom. But you can not do the boom boom in my house. Do it somewhere else."
What's the worst part about getting old?
Going to pull up the wrinkles in your socks, just to find out you're not wearing socks!
A man walks into his house, only to find out somebody stole all of his lamps. He was absolutely delighted.
So a man asked another man, "What's your name?"
He says, "What's it to ya?"
So the guy asked again, "And he says what's it to ya?"
Come to find out his name was What's It To Ya.
There once was a man from Peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe.
He woke up at night, with a terrible fright, to find out his dream had come true.
Roses are red Violets are blue two gay lovers find out they are brothers
Three scientists are doing an experiment. They are trying to find out what happens when you stick a cork in an elephant's ass.
In the lab, they each look at each other and decide that they should hire a monkey to do it. The monkey sticks the cork up the elephant's ass, and the scientists wait three weeks.
The monkey pulls out the cork, and all three scientists go back and discuss what they saw.
The first one, standing one mile away, says all he could see was a wave of brown, then it all went black. The second, standing two miles away, said the same. The third, who was standing three miles away, said all he could see was the other two get consumed by a massive cloud of brown.
One man's trash is another man's treasure... Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out you're adopted.
How did the hillbilly mother find out her daughter entered puberty? Her son's dick tasted funny.
What do a fat chick and a moped have in common?
They’re both fun to ride until your friends find out.
Many years of sex in the dark.
The wife finds out he was using a dildo. The wife gets angry and says, "Explain the dildo, prick!"
The husband says, "Explain the children, bitch!"
Recently, I've found out my wife has been cheating on me for the past 3 weeks with a baker downtown in Manhattan, New York, thinking I wouldn't find out. Irony of it all, she received a yeast infection.
20 years of sex in the dark, the wife finds out he was using a dildo. The wife gets angry and says, "Explain the dildo, prick." The husband says, "Explain the children, bitch."
How many times does 43 go into 8?
Get in the van and find out.
Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.
What do you call it when you're trying to find out what someone had for lunch?
An ingestigation.
