Fictional Character jokes

How does E.T. have an advantage over orphans? E.T. can actually phone home.

Why did Yoda go to jail for rape?

He doesn't get consent; he just uses the force.

You know how in Pinocchio the French puppets have the thigh rings?

Well, I got them too! Only red and thinner.

What do you call a smurf with no arms or legs?

A paintball.

I was crying when Sasha died in AOT, I also got jealous.

Boy 1: "Sonic is a fictional character."

Boy 2: "Yeah, just like your dad."

Pinocchio goes to the doctor for a checkup. When he gets there, the doctor asks him, "Do you have cancer?" Pinocchio replies, "That was very straight up, but no, I’m pretty sure I don’t have cancer." After saying this, his nose grew.

What makes William Afton and a boomerang common?

They always come back.

If I smiled one centimeter each time I watched someone I hated die, I'd look like the Cheshire Cat.

What do you call Tarzan when he swings through the trees backwards?

Nazrat.

If Batman is half bat and half human, how was he made?

"He wasn't because you can't f*ck a bat."

How many ears does Captain Picard have?

Three: A left ear, a right ear, and a final front-ear.

Tigger was playing hide & seek, so he looked in the toilet, but all he found was Pooh.

Where did Tigger go looking for Pooh?

In the toilet! 🚽 💩 💩 💩

"Me and Explain Boat (RapBoat) are going to be married tomorrow," - Explain Bear.

Chuck Norris doesn't play video games. Video games play Chuck Norris.

"Cheesus" hates me, yeah, I know, 'cause he's a real douchelord fictional character.