How does E.T. have an advantage over orphans? E.T. can actually phone home.
Why did Yoda go to jail for rape?
He doesn't get consent; he just uses the force.
You know how in Pinocchio the French puppets have the thigh rings?
Well, I got them too! Only red and thinner.
What do you call a smurf with no arms or legs?
A paintball.
I was crying when Sasha died in AOT, I also got jealous.
Boy 1: "Sonic is a fictional character."
Boy 2: "Yeah, just like your dad."
Pinocchio goes to the doctor for a checkup. When he gets there, the doctor asks him, "Do you have cancer?" Pinocchio replies, "That was very straight up, but no, Iβm pretty sure I donβt have cancer." After saying this, his nose grew.
What makes William Afton and a boomerang common?
They always come back.
If I smiled one centimeter each time I watched someone I hated die, I'd look like the Cheshire Cat.
What do you call Tarzan when he swings through the trees backwards?
Nazrat.
How many ears does Captain Picard have?
Three: A left ear, a right ear, and a final front-ear.
Tigger was playing hide & seek, so he looked in the toilet, but all he found was Pooh.
If Batman is half bat and half human, how was he made?
"He wasn't because you can't f*ck a bat."
Cheesus hates me yeah I know cause he's a real douchelord fictional character
