How does E.T. have an advantage over orphans? E.T. can actually phone home.
What do you call a smurf with no arms or legs?
A paintball
Yḱnow how in pinocchio the french puppets have the thigh rings? Well I got em too! Only red and thinner.
Pinocchio goes to the doctor for a checkup. When he gets there the doctor asks him “Do you have cancer?” Pinocchio replies, “That was very straight up, but, no I’m pretty sure I don’t have cancer.” After saying this, his nose grew.
If I smiled one centimeter each time I watched someone I hated die, I'd look like the cheshire cat.
What do you call Tarzan when he swings through the trees backwards?
Nazrat.
How many ears does Captain Picard have? -- Three: A left ear, a right ear and a final front ear.
If batman is half bat and half human how was he made.
"He wasn't because u can't f*ck a bat"
Boy 1: Sonic is a fictional character. Boy 2: Yeah, just like your dad.
Cheesus hates me yeah I know cause he's a real douchelord fictional character
