Fat

Fat jokes

Mama

Yo mama’s so fat, she wore the equator as a belt! Ooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Dog

Bob the Golden Retriever and Lily the Husky were talking at Bob's house.

Lily: Bob, do you think I'm fat?

Bob: No, Lily, of course not! You're just a little husky!!!! Lol. Golden Retrievers are funny.

Friend

Friend texting fat boy: I know you're on the group chat. I can see you looking at my texts.

Me: I can only see fat.

Advert

Yesterday, I saw an advert with a random woman dancing, and someone said that they were beautiful.

And then I said, "Except the fat people." And then I got sent to my room for saying that.

Mama

Yo mama so ugly, she went to a fat concert and they said no experts allowed! 😂

Mom

Your mom is so fat the space shuttle can see her from 10,000 miles away.

Mama

Your mama is so fat that she doesn't get crushed by cars, she crushes cars and babies in strollers on the sidewalk when she falls and doesn't see any remains, so there is no evidence.

Mom

I went to McDonald's to get a Big Mac. It was for his mom cause she was too fat.

Mama

Jo mama so fat that when aliens invaded earth, they said, "Wow, two in one!"

Dad

My dad said I need to eat more. I don't know why, but his fat ass needs to stop eating.

People

Fat people: Do I look beautiful when I eat a pack of chicken?

Me: Yes, you look like a bunch of boulders crashing into each other.

Fat: Dang...

Me: Shut up, Jon Brower Minnoch.

Mama

Yo mama so fat, when you married your sister, she was big enough to sit on the groom's side and the bride's side.

Kid

Have you ever met a kid who’s so fat that they can’t even be accepted to “My 600lb Life”? They need a higher-ranking one!

Little Timmy

A school shooter enters a kindergarten classroom. Little Timmy says, “He’s my daddy!”

The teacher, Mr. Mortez, screams. Little Timmy then says, “Mr. Mortez, my daddy says you’re a big fat whale and he wants to roll you all the way to Canada!” *pushes Mr. Mortez* Little Timmy says, “Hail f**king Canada!”