Fat jokes

Friend texting fat boy: I know you're on the group chat. I can see you looking at my texts.

Me: I can only see fat.

If I stepped on a Twix, would you get mad?

Suck on my big fat ding dong, you idiot!

Your mama is so fat that she doesn't get crushed by cars, she crushes cars and babies in strollers on the sidewalk when she falls and doesn't see any remains, so there is no evidence.

I went to McDonald's to get a Big Mac. It was for his mom cause she was too fat.

Why do fat people like food?

The more the merrier.

Jo mama so fat that when aliens invaded earth, they said, "Wow, two in one!"

My dad said I need to eat more. I don't know why, but his fat ass needs to stop eating.

Fat people: Do I look beautiful when I eat a pack of chicken?

Me: Yes, you look like a bunch of boulders crashing into each other.

Fat: Dang...

Me: Shut up, Jon Brower Minnoch.

EMMETT BROWN IS FAT.

A school shooter enters a kindergarten classroom. Little Timmy says, “He’s my daddy!”

The teacher, Mr. Mortez, screams. Little Timmy then says, “Mr. Mortez, my daddy says you’re a big fat whale and he wants to roll you all the way to Canada!” *pushes Mr. Mortez* Little Timmy says, “Hail f**king Canada!”

Yo mama so fat, she the reason Dino's became extinct.

Yo mama so fat, when you married your sister, she was big enough to sit on the groom's side and the bride's side.

Have you ever met a kid who’s so fat that they can’t even be accepted to “My 600lb Life”? They need a higher-ranking one!

What do a blonde and a cow have in common?

They're both fat af.

Your mum is so fat, I had to take 2 buses and a train to get to her good side.

Your mum is so fat when she died the Earth was flat! 😂😂😂😂

My sister said she was as fat as a coconut, so I threw one at her and she was right.

"Baka Johnny, fat baka."

Yo mama so fat that when she looks into a mirror, it always shatters, because her weight could be felt all around.