Fat jokes

My wife told me she was fat and depressed. She asked me to compliment her, so I said, "You have perfect eyesight!"

Your mama is so ugly! Ghostface from Scream won't even make that call!

Your mama is so ugly, she tried summoning Candyman, but he refused to come!

Your mama is so ugly, she summoned Bloody Mary.

She handed her an application through the mirror.

Your mama is so stupid, her phone died, so she buried it in the backyard!

Your mom's so fat, she fell.

Your mama is so fat, even God couldn't raise her spirit.

Your mama is so fat.

She steps on the scales. She has to return in a couple days to get the results.

Your mama is so fat, guys have to bring climbing equipment to have sex with her.

Your mama is so fat and stupid. She got hit by a school bus. Her reply was, "Who threw that Twinkie at me?"

Your mama is so fat.

She went on a diet and solved world hunger!

Your mama is so fat. When she went skydiving, it caused a global panic.

Your mama is so fat, I had to look twice to get a first impression.

Your mama is so fat. Her high school picture is an aerial photograph.

Your mama is so fat, the Marvel Universe disappeared.

Your mama is so fat. She gets winded just thinking about running.

Your mama is so fat, the wall couldn't support her picture.

Your mama is so fat, by the time I swerved to miss her with the car, I ran out of gas.

You are so fat that the last time you stepped on the weighing scale, the doctor said, "I want your weight and not [your] phone number."

Yo mama so fat, when she passed by the TV, I missed a whole season of SpongeBob.