Fart Jokes

A woman comes from a restaurant and ate a lot of beans. When she gets home his husband puts a blindfold on hair and says not to take it off. The lady hears her husband leave the room and starts farting really loudly. When the husband comes back and takes of the blind fold the lady sees 12 people with pegs on there nose singing happy birthday!!!

Monkey Man

A list of War Crimes committed by Mort. -stole god’s power

Fire Bombing an orphanage -invented the kkk

-Vehicular manslaughter

-Comited mass rape

-planned 9/11

-Leader of nazis

Farted 100 times in a row Ate Arby’s food Killed a mouse Dropping 10 pounds of semen on unnamed African children Rigging the 2016 election Gang Violence Owns 4000+ brothels around the world. Bombing all 7 world wonders Capturing and exploiting schizophrenic Somalian children for labor and child soldiers. Aggravated Assault Didn’t play video games Fraud He is sus Public Nudity Being an ass Domestic Violence Pearl Harbour Bombing Voluntary Manslaughter Tax Evasion Mass Genocide Mass Murder Forgery Shop lifting Bribery Killing Batman Usurpation -Puts milk before cereal

-Bought Cyberpunk 2077 on launch

Incrimination Organized crime -Cause of the nuking on Hiroshima

Unorganized crime City-wide corruption Cyberbullying Kidnapping Violence Theft Torture Treason Armed Robbery -Unarmed Robbery

Grand Theft Auto (6) Abuse (of power, physically and psychologically) Mass destruction Child endangerment Infanticide Attempted cultural genocide Blackmail Forced confinement Assault Robbery Terrorism Public endangerment Fraud Hate crimes Slander Vandalism Coercion Stalking Responsible for the annoying ads on Porn Hub Pollution Arms Dealing Crimes against humanity Drug Possession Drug Trafficking Drug Manufacturing Embezzlement Rioting Child Abandonment Abused a pizza and multiple planets Indecent Exposure Public Intoxication Arson Fucked God Burglary Home invasion Manslaughter Child Torture Leaving the toilet seat up Organ dealing Several unpaid parking tickets Dream Stan Adultery Genocide of Twitch Simps and Soy Boys Several cases of crashing a school bus Crapping on King Julien’s Throne always respecting women Theft of 69420 cases of Botulinum toxin Driving under the influence Libel Killed U.S. hostages in WWII Cannibalism Slave owning The extinction of fifty-five different animal species Probation violation Prostitution -Trafficking Of Minors

Breaking the first two Rules of The Internet The making and use of mustard gas -Nuclear arms dealing

Human arms dealing Fucked a whiskey bottle -The assassination of JFK

Shot Franz Ferdinand Responsible for juice WRLD’s death Owning multiple children as slaves Destruction of the old communist Russia Bestiality (but with humans) Out Pizza’d the hut Used the “Heaven Concealed” Jutsu to make dinosaurs go extinct Stole the Krabby Patty secret formula Friends with Hitler and Stalin Causing 2020 Kneeling on George Floyd’s neck Mean to the nice teacher Saying bad morning instead of good morning Did a backflip and ruined everyone’s day Blackmailed Santa into giving him presents Robbing 389493 Mom Bucks Bombing Palestine Invented Tic Tok Put 6 children in animatronic suits Ate gasoline Killed Harambe Exposed Amish children to Hentai Bought and consumed Belle Delphine’s bath water collaboration with [ Redacted ] at Tiananmen Square said the n-word on multiple occasions gave Thanos and 20 others AIDS and chlamydia knows who Candice is knows what sex is but won’t tell us danced on a pole to seduce a rooster. watched Jake and Logan Paul. -is a BTS stand

Said Gay people matter Said Mr. Krabs wasn’t dummy thick Caught stuffing babies with 20Lbs of dynamite doesn’t like roblox sex doesn’t like fortnite sex Made porn with Johnny Sins Put Jelly before Peanut butter on his PB&J Gave out viagra to Pre-School Students -500TB of child pornography

-Told the crippled kid to “walk it off”

-Woke up, took a shit, got out of

ate the homework instead of the dog doing it -knows who joe is

The Founder of the KKK The Cause of 9/11 Creator Of The Deep Web Took Part of All Sorts of Terrorism he the reason one direction split up threw hands with God and won voted for Trump and Biden -rape

-likes big black cocks

simped for and virtually fucked Bella poarch -declared nuclear war on north korea

-Sex Note

-killed Lillphoenix

-ejaculating in 17 different species of fish

-is not white

-ate a nacho chip vertically

-fucked a triceratops

-said shrek was ugly

knew what the point of the mask is -somehow fucked 30 worms

-ate the old woman who swallowed a bat

-said that straws have two holes

-ejaculated onto all four ninja turtles

-fucked ur uncle and father instead of ur mom (hes kinda gay)

-reminded the teacher there was homework

-said santa wasn’t real

-Didnt Like carrots

-claims to have seen john cena

-wouldn’t stand up for the kid in the wheel chair and said the following “stand up for ur self bitch” then went to go find king Julian

-doesn’t know GEICO can save you 15% or more on car insurance

-Gassing millions of people in auschwitz

-Created auschwitz

yo mamma so old that when she farts we have to dust again

Obama gaming vs sonic with a gun

Art more like fart hahahahhahahahahahhah

Anonymous
in Yo mama

yo mama so old when she farts dust comes out

millsy

You momma’s so fat she farted in bed and blew the covers off

Master at work pls read this on stream

FREE MY ÑIGGA EDP HE INNOCENT ONCE UPON A TIME I WENT OVER TO HIS HOUSE AND HE FARTED SO GAHDAMN MUCH INTO MY MOUTH THAT I STARTED DROOLING A HERSHEY WATERFALL THIS ÑIGGA IS SO SEXY AND I LOVE WHEN HE SITS HIS FAT ASS ON TOP OF ME TYSON U JUST JEALOUS YOU AIN’T GOT NO ONE LIKE BRYANT U RETARDED LOOKING ASS BITCH I DARE YOU TO GET A PARTNER AS LOYAL AND INNOCENT AS EDP FREE MY ÑIGGA BIG HOMIE CHEESE HEAD 474747 HE INNOCENT

in Gas

TELL ME YOU DONE THIS WITH OUT YOU TELL ME YOU DONE THIS.!!! so we all know when yall where in school yall would fart but yall would try to make it silent. but for me that one day I farted loud and every one could hear. every one got to blame the annoying kid.

Your welcome
in Insult

I hope you never find out whether that pressure in your ass is a fart or a shit

Anonymous

Yo momma so fat she farts out volcanoes.

dadude
in Roast

Person 1: somebody farted. Person 2: no, all I can smell is your breath

But she hasn’t tried the position with her new boyfriend. So she invites him to a romantic dinner. After dinner, she tells her boyfriend about her desire for it. But her boyfriend was clueless about such acts. So she tell him to strip naked on the couch and lay on top of him naked in the 69 positions. She starts sucking him off and starts waiting for him to do the same. But the bf didn’t know what to do, so he just lay there. Suddenly the girl had an urge to fart, but hold it in because her asshole was right near his bf face. Suddenly she loses control, and lets one out. She apologizes profusely and continues sucking him. A couple of minutes later, she feels the urge again and lets another fart rip near his face. The BF throws the girl from the couch, gets up, and says

“Bitch if you think I’ll be lying here for 67 more of those, you’re fucking crazy.”

What do you call a rare fart in Egypt? A toot uncommon!

About this opportunity

Juce world farts smell like Macdonalds

26447

Once there was a man. A man who had a butt. Once he was at this job interview and he was going to get the job. But just before the boss was going to hire him he farted. It was a really bad one. It was 47 minutes long and so loud the windows rattled. When it was over the man screamed and jumped out the window. He didn’t get the job

antkomior

Why did the butt let out a fart A: to wipe out humanity

Anonymous

Yo mama such a milf she deserves a tongue punch in the fart box

in Yo mama

Yo mama so fat that when she farted Big Shaq took off his jacket

Why do farts smell ???

So defff people can enjoy them as well …