Farm jokes
Why did the cow cross the road?
Because the chicken was on vacation.
What do you call a cow that no one likes? The mooser.
Two cows in a field.
One says to the other, "Mooooooo!"
The other says, "Tut, I was gonna say that!"
Teacher: Kids, what does a chicken give you?
Students: Eggs.
Teacher: Very good. Now, what does the pig give you?
Kids: Bacon.
Teacher: Excellent. Now, what does the fat cow give you?
Kids: Homework.
What did the cow say to the other cow?
Moo you fine.
My friend’s neighbor’s house is a real pigsty. There are hogs everywhere wearing neck garments.
What’s the difference between a hoe and a rooster?
A rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo," and a hoe says, "Any cock will do."
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: Because.
What happens to chickens that get kidnapped by rapists?
They get choked.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the Moo-vie theater.
Are you an egg, because you crack me up?
One cow asks another cow, "Are you afraid of mad cow disease?"
The other cow says, "Why should I be? I'm a helicopter."
What is a cow?
How do you see the difference between a cow and a bull? It’s either one or the udder.
What happens when a cow jumps over a wire fence?
Udder destruction.
How do cows like to play games? Moobile (Mobile).
Q: Ten shepherds out in the sheep field. How do you know which one's gay?
A: He's the one the sheep fuck!
(I'm gay, and I know this joke is demeaning and inappropriate, but I still think it's funny as a 2-inch penis.)
Q: What do you call a cranky cow?
A: Moooooooody.
"Knock, knock?"
"Who's there?"
"Cow said."
"Cow said who?"
"Cow says moo you ding dong!"
What'd the farmer say when a coyote killed and ate his rooster?
"No, you ate my cock!"