Farm jokes
Mary had a great big ram, his fleece was white as snow, when on hands and knees our Mary went, his wad was sure to blow.
Month by month her belly grew, increasing in its girth, and when five months had flown by, our Mary did give birth.
And Mary had a little lamb, a little lamb, a little lamb...
Cow: *can't be milked for 20 years*
9/11:
What is a cow's favorite water sport?
Ca-MOO-ing!
What do you call a masturbating cow?
Beef stroganoff.
One cow asks another cow, "Are you afraid of mad cow disease?"
The other cow says, "Why should I be? I'm a helicopter."
What do you call a cow that doesn't produce any milk? An udder failure.
Are you an egg, because you crack me up?
What did the cow say every morning?
Good moorning!
A mom cow's last words were to the mom cow's son. They were, "You are..." then died. The son thought that he was adopted, but then three years later, the mom cow rose from the dead and said to her son that she was going to say, "You were adorable." Then she died once more. Then two years later, she rose from the dead for the last time to say to her son, "And that's why we adopted you."
Q: Why did the cow touch an electric fence?
A: Because it wanted to get electrocowted! 🐄
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Interrupting cow." "Interrupting cow wh-" "Moo!" 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
One time, a cow saved my life.
It was bovine intervention.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: Because.
"Fuck me right in the balls, you dirty cow!"
Why was the chicken screaming?
He had an egg stuck in his butt.
What goes oOoOo on your breath that scared away the animals from the farm?
Why’d the chicken cross the road?
To get choked and stroked by Mr. Big Bloke!
“We’ll choke and stroke, it ain’t no joke!”
Q: What do you call a cow stuck on a barb wire fence?
A: Udderly destroyed.
What do you get when you cross a rooster with a small dog?
A Cock-a-POODLE-Doo!
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the knucklehead's house...
Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.