Family jokes
Why do orphans play GTA?
Because at least they can be wanted!
Why do Orphans sleep in a double bed?
Because their parents can't!
When an orphan takes a picture, it’s a family portrait.
My grandfather told me I'm too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
Kris
Damn this shit!
Megan Thee Stallion: What!
Kris: My mother is a fucker!
The whole world:
OH NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Did you know that your son has been deeper inside of your wife than you have...unless you put the coat hanger up there?
Son: Dad, how was I born?
Dad: Your mum's a hoe.
Son: OK, what's a hoe?
Dad: Your mum.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Me and my wife love playing table tennis. I couldn’t win all day, but when it got dark, I managed to beat her. I don’t know how the police found out so quickly.
An orphan walked up to the lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand, "Hey, bum, bum, bum, got a family?"
Why can't orphans go to school? They need their parents to sign them up.
So I got my brother a jumping castle for his birthday. That bitch cried in his wheelchair.
Why did the orphan play baseball?
To find home base.
What's the one school event that orphans don't go to?
Parents' evening.
A sister went to her brother's room and says,
"I'm scared, can I sleep with you?"
"Yes, sis."
"What is this?" (pointing at his dick)
"My pet snake."
"Can I pet it?"
"Yes."
He wakes up in a hospital.
"What happened?"
"Your snake spit on me, so I bit his head off."
"You dummy!"
"Whaaat?"
Green beans, potato salad with the one that was in the fridge for me.
Parent: Have you seen your sister?
Son: No, the last time I saw her was when we were playing hide and seek.
Why can an orphan only get an iPhone X?
Because there is no home button.
My mom told me to look for a bill in her file at her home office. Instead, I grabbed my sister's adoption papers.
What did the orphan say when he first played Sims? Dang, you can have a family!