Family jokes
My family was like dinosaurs when they got COVID.
They both went extinct.
A sister went to her brother's room and says,
"I'm scared, can I sleep with you?"
"Yes, sis."
"What is this?" (pointing at his dick)
"My pet snake."
"Can I pet it?"
"Yes."
He wakes up in a hospital.
"What happened?"
"Your snake spit on me, so I bit his head off."
"You dummy!"
"Whaaat?"
Son: Dad, how was I born?
Dad: Your mum's a hoe.
Son: OK, what's a hoe?
Dad: Your mum.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Me and my wife love playing table tennis. I couldnāt win all day, but when it got dark, I managed to beat her. I donāt know how the police found out so quickly.
Memes
Once I said to an orphan, "What the 'F' means in 'orphan'?"
He replied, "There's no 'F'."
Me: "There's no family."
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't reach home.
My dad died in 9/11.
He was a good pilot.
Why canāt orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy."
My mom told me to get dressed, and I said, "For what? Are we going to the rodeo?"
din mamma
There are 2 dads and 2 sons. They all caught a fish.
Why did they only come home with 3 fish?
(Answer)
There were a grand-dad, dad, and son.
If you don't get it, then it means grand father is the dad to the dad (1 dad). Dad is the dad for the son and a son for the grandfather. Get it?
Why canāt an orphan play games with a full house in them? Because they donāt know what a full house is.
Why can't orphans close their video games?
Because they can't find the home button.
Why do orphans not like the movie Frozen?
Because for them, love isn't an open door.
I was dying when I called my sister and she said, "Hi, this is Pepperoni's pizza and abortion clinic; your loss, our sauce. How may I help you today?"
There is someone in my class named Henry Rocket Rueben, and he always says he rockets into my mom.
Why did the orphan go outside the school?
Answer: Because it was take your parents to school day.
Why have kids? Just go get one now, no nine-month delay.
What do you call a crazy-in-every-way sister?
A sissy.