Family jokes

And I blame it on the al-al-al-cohol, but if I were you, I wouldn’t kiss your mom on the mouth at all.

Hahahahahahhah my nan died :)

I took my mother-in-law out yesterday.

God being a sniper is so fun!

Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home.

I walked in on my little sister when she was naked.

The thing I have to say is that my little sister is a big sister with big tits & ass with juicy lips upstairs & downstairs. I say whoever is going to be my brother-in-law is going to be a very happy person.

Hey there little mister, I'm dating your sister.

What's it like to have the best daughter in the world? You'll have to ask grandma!

Knock, knock.

"Who's there?"

Not your dad.

Your dad is so smart, he took one look at you and left.

I finally asked my deadbeat dad what makes him happy. His answer? He hasn't gotten back to me.

Brings a whole new meaning to brotherly love.

Why didn’t the train kill nine families of four?

Because he had no loco-MOTIVE. AHAHAH

My father told me to always carry a women's bag, but I don't know why he called the cops on me when I helped Mom's bag when we went parachuting. :(

About a month ago, I was at my best friend’s funeral and I told him, "Bitches always come and go." He looked at me kinda mad, kinda confused, and said, "That’s my mom, dude."

My mom told me that my friend Paul is coming over, and he is going to sleep over, so I was happy.

The next day, I ask my mom, "Where's the dog?" My mom asks me, "What dog?"

Then I said to my mom, "I heard Paul say, 'Do you want it doggy?' and you said 'Yeah.'"

I had a threesome on an elevator with a monkey and my underage, deaf, & mentally challenged sister...

It was wrong on so many levels.

What’s worse than banging your sister?

Having to wear your dad’s wedding ring.

My sister is so stupid, she thought LBJ was a blow job.

How do you make a mime cry?

You kill his family right in front of his stupid face.

What's the difference between child abuse and abandonment?

The abused ones are forced to listen while being abused, while abandoned kids cry because they don't have parents anymore.