Family jokes

According to Christianity, Jesus is the son of a GODFATHER.

Why do Orphans sleep in a double bed?

Because their parents can't!

Why don't orphans go to the park?

Because their parents can't push them on the swing!

Parent: Have you seen your sister?

Son: No, the last time I saw her was when we were playing hide and seek.

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

'Cause they don’t know where home is.

Do you know why orphans can't play baseball?

Because they can't find home.

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

The apple actually gets picked.

My little league football debut was a lot like the first time I had sex. I was beaten, bruised, and bloody, but at least my Dad came.

Your mama so fat that when you were born, yo mama gave you carpet burn.

Why can't orphans have sex?

Because they have no one to call "daddy."

My mum said not to walk the streets because I won't find home the next day. I was an orphan.

A brother and a sister always kept fighting. One day the brother said, "You're adopted!"

Then the sister replies, "At least they wanted me!"

The brother yells back, "Well, at first, when they didn't know you'd turn out like this."

How to Make an Orphan cry

Step 1: Talk about Home.

Step 2: Ask them where their parents are.

Step 3: Say, "Bye Bye," and push them in the Batmobile!

I bought my son a wheelchair for his birthday—turns out he couldn’t get in it.

What's the difference between apples and orphans?

Apples get picked.

What did mum say when grandpa called?

Boomerang.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

'Cause they can never score home.

What is the definition of clapped?

Ur mum when I am in her bed.

My family was like dinosaurs when they got COVID.

They both went extinct.

Green beans, potato salad with the one that was in the fridge for me.