Family jokes
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they can't find home.
Mother: We need to talk about sex...
Jason: Oh, sex, tell me what do you wanna know.
Jason had a big whooping from his mother and big spanking from his dad.
Yo mama so stupid that, when she heard about cookies on the internet, she ate her computer.
Wife: Honey, I’m pregnant. Husband: Hi Pregnant, I’m dad. Wife: No, you’re not.
*The doctor asking why I've broken 19 bones in the past week*
*My abusive mum- Go on, tell him!*
Well what am I gonna do now...
A baby is like another step. You use it just the same as the other steps.
Ask an orphan this: "What's the difference between cancer and your dad? Cancer comes back!"
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Mary has a house near a forest. She lives with her bro, and she once asked, "How many trees are there?" Her bro said: "I don't know." She said: "Tree."
Why can't an orphan be a YouTuber? Because most of the videos are family-friendly.
"What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up!"
When a lady gets married, what does she borrow?
She borrows her husband's last name.
What's the difference between orphans and apples?
Apples get picked.
You're so ugly your mom and dad abandoned you, and you went to the adoption center, and not even the adoption center would take you or let you in.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high and grabbed Jill's thigh and said, "You know you wanna."
Jill said yes and lifted her dress so they could have some fun, but stupid Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.
Want to hear a joke? I swear it isn't about my life again.
My mom and dad made a joke together and called it "yeetsu" (me)!
My Countryhumans OC, Sahara, is the daughter of France and Soviet. When people ask why, I tell them it was the gendersnapped version of my parents making me. France (my dad) was drunk and Soviet (my mom) was being horny. Then they judge me, so I judge them with a knife to the chest 47 times.
I bought an orphan iPhone 8 Plus and he said he doesn't want it 'cause it didn't have a HOME button.
Why are orphans bad at baseball? They can't get home.
Why do orphans have dry cereal?
Because they're still waiting on the milk.