Family jokes
I got two cups of milk. One for me and one for my son.
We both drank them at the same time and tried not to puke. I won, since my son is face first on the table with his blood all over.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
"Go frick a cow!"
"I already fricked your mother."
Mommy?
How do you make an orphan clap until his hands bleed?
Tell him to clap until his parents come home.
What do orphans in Batman have in common? They'll never see their parents again.
What's the difference between a dog and an orphan? The dog gets picked.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? The Parent Trap.
Have a child you don't want? Just drop them off at a school they don't know and drive away.
Why can't an orphan have sex?
They have no one to call "daddy."
Why can't orphans be gay? They don't know their daddy.
Why are there only 363 days in an orphan's calendar?
They don’t have fathers or Mother’s Day.
Why do orphans like to have sex?
So they can finally have someone to call "daddy."
Kid on Xbox: I'm not a virgin. Ask your sister.
Bully on Xbox: I don't have a sister, dumbass.
Kid on Xbox: You will in 9 months.
An orphan thinks he finally sees his mom, but then he realizes it's air.
I called an orphan's house, saying: "Are your parents home yet?"
He started crying.
My mom told me to recycle the trash. I guess I’m taking you for another bike ride!
Why do orphans suck at baseball? Because they never could play catch.
Yo mama is so nonverbal that she’s Boss Baby.
You know what orphans and Batman have in common? They'll both never see their parents again.