You're so short, I bet your parents left you at home most times when they went to the pool because they're scared you'll drown in the kiddie pool.
An orphan goes up to someone. The guy says, "Where are your parents?"
The orphan says, "Why do you think I'm wearing ripped pyjamas?"
Me: *in a family meeting*
Mom: Ok guys...
Me in my mind: BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA
Tell your adopted kid you want to take them back home and tell them their original parents want them, and get them all excited, then take them to the orphanage and tell them their parents died.
Sad life goes, joke mom.
What’s an orphan’s favorite holidays? Mothers’ and Father’s Day.
What's a penguin's favorite relative?
Why can an orphan relate to a pack of bananas?
Because they both split away from their family.
Why are you mad because no one wants to adopt me?
Why don’t orphans play baseball? Cause they don’t know where home is!
Why can't orphans have sex? Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Knock, knock.
Who is there?
Your Nan.
WHAT? MY NAN IS DEAD!
Sike, I lied, your mom is a guy!
B b b b bird bird bird, the bird banged your mom!
You are adopted.
No cap. No one loves you.
Bye.
I have a body count of 7.
Why do orphans love Dom Toretto?
Because "family is everything!"
What do you call your mom?
Basement bound.
My wife slept with another man and got pregnant. She told me 9 weeks later. I said it's ok and told her let's talk downstairs, so I pushed her down the stairs.
Friends, who's your barber? They mess up big time.
Me.
You're just jealous because my dad cuts my hair for free, and you have to be paying 30 dollars just for that short-ass cut.
