Family jokes
When we take a family photo, you are the background.
Teacher: I was an orphan as a kid.
Students: Damn!
Teacher: Is anyone missing?
Students: Your parents!
I’m about to go to the orphanage to say yo mama jokes.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They can't run home.
My stepmom kicked me out of the house because I was raped and got pregnant. I kicked her to death because she had sex and gave birth to my rapist stepbrother.
are you serious right neow
If you're ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
What kind of work from school can't orphans do?
Homework!
Why do orphans become hookers?
'Cause they can call someone "daddy."
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't hit a home run.
Why do orphans hate smart kids?
Because the smart kids get their parents' attention.
When Jim was playing on his phone, my grandfather told him, "You use way too much technology!" Jim then said, "No, YOU use too much technology!" and then Jim disconnected his grandfather’s life support.
I started crying when my dad was chopping onions.
Onions was such a good dog!
What is an orphan's favorite quote in Star Wars?
"I am your father."
What are two things that an orphan can’t have?
Two parents.
What did the orphan say to his father?
Nothing, he doesn't have one.
What does a skeleton call their great-grandparents?
A fossil.
Boy: Will you remember me in a minute?
Mom: Yes.
Boy: Will you remember me in a day?
Mom: Yes.
Boy: Will you remember me in a year?
Mom: Yes.
Boy: Knock knock.
Mom: Who's there?
Boy: Bitch, you forgot me.
Why did the orphan go to church?
Because they need a father.
My uncle can't walk straight. I think it's because he's gay.
What's worse than getting raped in a cemetery? Finding someone else's semen in your mom's corpse.