Family jokes

I'd like to have kids one day.

I don't think I could stand them any longer than that, though.

Food makers are proudly presenting human flesh-made foods. Donate your useless friends and family to us because we're saving lives.

T and C apply. This is only in the best shops in your town, or down the road, or in your country. 1 like = 1 family member donated 'cause we're saving lives😎😎

There’s a lot of talk about starting families, but no one ever talks about finishing what they started.

My dad died in 9/11. He was the best pilot I have ever seen, though.

Yo mama so fat, she walked by the TV and I missed 12 episodes!

Why did the orphan get an iPhone X for his birthday?

Because the iPhone X doesn't have a home button.

My sister and a basketball got certain things in common.

My sister's tits and ass are bouncy like a basketball.

Why can’t orphans play baseball? 'Cause they can’t find home plate.

Why shouldn't orphans get a phone?

They would get stuck in an app because they can't find the home button.

You know what’s traumatizing?

Your mom breastfeeding in front of you.

Help!

Why is an orphan's favorite movie Spider-Man: No Way Home?

Why do orphans do so well in life?

When people told them "Go big or go home," they only had one option.

One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Claus,

"Please send me a sibling!"

Santa Claus wrote him back and said, "Okay, send me your mother!"

Yo, hairline go so far back that your dad found it before you did.

When your mama went to Sea World, the whales started singing, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me!"

What is an orphan's favorite part of school homework?

Explain bear still lives in his mother's basement.

Little Johnny is with his dad behind a garbage truck when a dildo thumps the windshield.

To protect Little Johnny's innocence, he says, "That was an insect."

Little Johnny replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"

Is their [there] a doctor anywhere?

My mom has a few problems & those problems is [are] that my mom has big tits, fat ass & sweet pussy that needs attention. Help anyone.

I will never forget the moment when my father saw me masturbating. He said, "Son, what are you doing? I'm on a video conference - get out of my office!"