Family jokes
What do you call a dad without a dad joke?
Dead.
Q. What do filicide jokes and filicide victims have in common?
A. They never get old.
Have you ever wondered why orphans hate milk?
'Cause their dad never came back with it.
Why did an orphan say, "I'm wanted?" Because they wanted to feel a lie in their life.
Why couldn't the orphan play baseball?
He didn't know where home was.
What is an orphan's dream?
To get on top of the wanted list! 🤣
Why can’t orphans play baseball? Because they can’t find home.
I named my cousin's parrot Michell, and then I started to call Mikey "Mikey", right? I'm starting to teach my cousin Sammy how to say "Mikey Mikey" and he says "mekiy meiky" 😆
Family all eating at the table.
Brother: "Hmm, I think I feel gold."
Sister: "Stop the cap."
Brother looks under the table and says, "Nope, just a gold digger."
Dad laughed.
Stepmom storms out of the room.
Q: Why do orphans work at Olive Garden?
A: Because when you're there, you're family.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
What are two things that an orphan can’t have?
Two parents.
Orphan: My mommy and daddy love me.
Guy: Where are they then?
Orphan: In the eternal depths of [hell].
One day I was saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. I asked if he was an orphan. He said, “Yeah, what gave me away?” I said, “His parents.”
What's an orphan's favorite movie?
"Home Alone."
Where do you find an orphan? Just look for your mum.
Why couldn’t the orphan play baseball?
He had no home to run to!
What is hard to find but easy to make?
An orphan.
What do phones and orphans have in common?
They selfie! (It's because they don't have parents.)
Why do orphans hate iPhones? Because they have a home button.