Family jokes
What's an orphan's least favorite day? Take your kid to work day.
What's an orphan's favorite movie?
"Home Alone."
Why do orphans like to play GTA?
To be wanted.
Me: *watching TV*
Mom: Omg, no way, your dad is coming!
Me: Really?
Mom: Obviously not, he never loved or wanted you.
Your uncle Jack is stuck on the horse...
Would you help him jack off the horse?
Whoever said that about me better pray!
Q: Why do orphans work at Olive Garden?
A: Because when you're there, you're family.
Orphan: My mommy and daddy love me.
Guy: Where are they then?
Orphan: In the eternal depths of [hell].
One day I was saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. I asked if he was an orphan. He said, “Yeah, what gave me away?” I said, “His parents.”
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
Why couldn’t the orphan play baseball?
He had no home to run to!
What is an orphan's dream?
To get on top of the wanted list! 🤣
What is hard to find but easy to make?
An orphan.
What do phones and orphans have in common?
They selfie! (It's because they don't have parents.)
My girlfriend was cheating in Uno.
She's not the only one who can play that game.
I was digging and found some gold. I was going to tell my mom, then I remembered why I was digging.
What type of pictures do orphans take?
Selfies.
What's the difference between your mom and a troll?
Nothing, they both look the same.
Me: Mom, stop, you are not funny. You never make jokes.
Mom: I made you.
Your uncle Jack is stuck on a horse.
Would you help your uncle "Jack" off the horse?