Family

Family jokes

Pilot

    • My friend's dad died during 9/11. He was such a good pilot, but my friend kept disturbing him, so when his dad died, he said, "It was you who killed me" (to the child).

    So the child said, "Yoo-hoo? What type of name is Yoo-hoo, but Yoo-hoo, Yoo-hoo come here, I need to kill you NOW."

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    • Blonde

    • A blonde starts a new job at a local car dealership when a wealthy gentleman comes in looking for a spacious car for his large family. The blonde is excited as she gets commission, so eagerly shows him the most expensive SUVs.

    The gentleman has a good look around before saying to the blonde, "It looks perfect.... But cargo space?" To which she instantly replied, "Oh, I'm sorry, sir, car only for road."

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    • Parent

    • My parents created a joke 11 years ago and people are still laughing at it, but I know it's not me because jokes have meaning.

    Family memes

    Child

    • The first child, Daisy, asks her mother why she is named Daisy. The mother said, "That's because a daisy fell on your head when you were born."

    The second child, Raindrop, asked why he is named Raindrop, and the mother said, "That's because a drop of rain fell on your head when you were born."

    Then the third child, Cinderblock, said, "fxg,kxf dsdsvtg,hjer,btjh,rbtsvikvsdtxde43f."

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    • Orphan

    • Why can an orphan go to a store to buy something and what can come back home?

    Because they don't have a home.

    Orphan

    • You know why you never wanna fly with an orphan?

    'Cause then they know they won't die alone.

    Mom

    • Roses are red, violets are blue, people think that you’re fat, until they saw your mom.