Family Jokes

If I was a party, then anxiety must be the cousin depression felt obligated to bring to the party and insomnia the little annoying sibling.

If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child.

One day, an orphan threw a boomerang, and it didn’t come back like its parents.

How are orphans and blind kids similar?

They both have never seen their parents :)

What's the best thing you can do if you're feeling lonely? Watch a scary movie. You won't feel lonely anymore.

Bully: "Nobody loves you." Me: "Aww, it must have hurt when your mom told you that."

I don’t like making jokes about 9/11, my grandad died in it, he was the greatest pilot I ever knew

Why do orphans go to church? So they have someone to call father

How do emos propose

Would you like to join my family tree

The twin towers are like my parents, only one came back.

"I'm not sure why my girlfriend's father doesn't like me."

"What was your first impression on him?"

"I told him, she calls me daddy too."

Son: Dad, why did name my sister Paris? Dad: Because she was made there. Son: Thanks, Dad. Dad: You're welcome, Backseat.

I asked my mum why she’s depressed, she said her life has been a wreck? I asked how long has it been, she then asked when I was born

Little Jonny walks in on his parents having sex. He asks what their doing and the father says: "Well...We're making you a brother." So little Jonny runs off to let his parents finish, happy that he's going to have a brother soon. The next day when little Jonny's father comes come Jonny is crying out on the driveway. The father sits down next to Jonny and asks what's wrong. Jonny cries: "I won't have a baby brother!" HIs father is confused. "What do you mean?" He asks. "Because the mailman came by today and ate him!"