Family jokes
Kid: Hey, Mum, why are we pushing the car off the cliff?
Mum: Shut up, son, you’ll wake your father!
If an orphan gets a girlfriend, they finally have someone to love them.
What did Onett and Threed reply to their child?
"I love you Twoson."
What do atoms and parents have in common to orphans? You can't see either of them.
I swear I witnessed your nana fall down the stairs.
L
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
Stop sign: If you speed, I'll call your parents.
Orphans: Going 180.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they don't have anyone to call them "daddy."
Why is there a middle school?
Because the kids that go there are middle class families.
I was dying when I called my sister and she said, "Hi, this is Pepperoni's pizza and abortion clinic; your loss, our sauce. How may I help you today?"
"Yo mama so bad we gotta switch to yo papa."
What do you call an orphan?
An orphan.
Guys stop before I tell my parents!
Why can't orphans go on field trips?
There's no parent signature.
What do you call when an orphan takes a selfie?
A family photo.
Why can’t orphans eat cereal with milk? Cause mummy never gave them some.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home run is.
Q: What did the grandma cat say to her grandson when she saw him slouching? A: You need to pay more attention to my pawsture.
My brother: What are you looking at?
Me: A mistake.
Mummy, how was I born?
Mummy replied, "Well, your father and I got married, and soon I became fat and you came out, and then in, out, in, out, and after you did that a million times, you were born."