Family jokes

"Knock knock."

Orphan: "Who's there?"

"Not your parents."

Why do people in Alabama always swipe left on Tinder?

Because they aren't family!

Father: "I don't trust you. You poured your seed in my daughter's belly."

Son: "But Paah, you can't fire me."

Father: "You're lucky you're my brother too, or I'd kill you."

My mom told me it's not healthy to stay in my room all day... but the only places I'm allowed to go to are my room and downstairs.

A brother and a sister always got into fights. One day the brother tells the sister, "You're adopted!" The sister yells back, "At least they wanted me!"

Why did the orphan become a stripper?

So she could have someone to call daddy.

What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.

Your mamma's so ugly, even the toaster wouldn't get in the bathtub with her.

I don't like to use the word "kidnapping". So I just use the term: "surprise adoption."

Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.

Dark humor jokes about orphans are funny because no parents are gonna be told.

My grandfather never threw anything away, bless him. He died in the war holding on to a hand grenade.

Why can't orphans watch PG movies? Because they are parental guidance.

These jokes are fun for the whole family to enjoy.

I was excited my teacher asked me for sex in exchange for a good grade, but then I realized I was homeschooled.

The Sunday school teacher is a little concerned that his kids might be a little confused about Jesus, so he asks his class, “Where is Jesus today?”

Little Suzy replies, “He’s in heaven.”

Little Mary replies, “He’s in my heart.”

Little Johnny says, “He’s in the bathroom!”

The teacher says, “How do you know this?”

Then little Johnny says, “Well, every morning my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells, “Jesus Christ are you still in there!?””

What song do orphans hate the most? "We are family."

Orphan boy: "Your dad is probably disappointed in you. I mean, look at you."

Me: "Well, at least my parents kept me. Where are yours?"

My Grandpa said, "Your generation relies too much on technology!" I replied, "No, your generation relies too much on technology!" Then I unplugged his life support.

One time, I broke up with my Roblox girlfriend by sending her a message. Thirty seconds later, I heard my uncle crying in the next room.