I have no father or no milk. Like if you relate.
Teenager: "OMG, I’m prego, my mom's gonna kill me."
Baby: "Lmao, same"
My wife called me a pedophile. That is a big word for a 2 year old.
Why are orphans good at being a criminal?
Because they're not wanted.
Your hairline goes so far back your mom can't even reach it.
Girl: Come over.
Orphan: I can’t.
Girl: My parents aren’t home.
Orphan: Oh, cool, something we have in common.
Yo mama so fat, she has to use pillowcases for socks.
Dad: Hey, uh... you're adopted.
Dog: *frown*
Your mom checked for your hairline, but she could not find it.
What do the Twin Towers and my Mom have in common? They both went down on my dad.
Your mama's so young your dad went to jail.
Why can't orphans be gay? They don't have a closet to come from.
Son: “Dad, did you get the results of the DNA test back?”
Dad: “Call me George.”
My ex's dad died while she was texting me. She said she had a boyfriend, but I told her I had a dad.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They don't have a closet to come out of.
Adam and Eve had 3 male children, the only children on Earth. How did they reproduce?
I just competed in a wrestling tournament. The first guy hit me harder than my dad’s belt.
Why did the orphan girl cry during sex?
Because her boyfriend said "Who's your daddy?"
BAJAHAHAHHAA
Your dad's Spider-Man because he's far from home.
My mom said if I'm awake playing Roblox still, she said she was going to bang my head against the keyboard. hxhdhduhxbsfj.
